


i am for you

by jillyfae



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Epistolary, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, Love at First Sight, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2019-05-01 22:31:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14530656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jillyfae/pseuds/jillyfae
Summary: One misdirected email leads to bonding over bookstores & bad fiction, sleep-deprivation, the introduction of the Lightwood-Garroway Family Hedge, and Magnus and Alec falling in love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pameluke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pameluke/gifts).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [[tumblr](http://faejilly.tumblr.com/post/173564691418)]

From: [ma.ba05@uia.edu](mailto:maba05@uia.edu) [M. Bane]  
To: [ra.fe07@uia.edu](mailto:ra.fe08@uia.edu) [R. Fell]  
subj: _forgive me_

Hello, you old stick in the mud.

Yes that is a perfectly acceptable way to open a letter, do shush.

And yes, email counts as a letter, just because you study ancient dead people more than living ones does not mean you should not admit to the existence of modern innovation.

Also yes, obviously, I have bad news, you know me so well, however have we borne each other's company for so long?

Especially when you have such an appalling lack of sense as to allow me to borrow your copy of Marlowe's treatise on the White Book.

Oops?

It will not be wending its way back to you along with the references on the Grey and the Red. I know, it's not the same when it's not a whole set, I will make it up to you.

Somehow.

I promise.

And you know I keep my word.

* * *

From: [algili04@uia.edu](mailto:algili04@uia.edu) [Alec L.]  
To: [ma.ba05@uia.edu](mailto:maba05@uia.edu) [M. Bane]  
subj: _this is awkward_

I want to apologize. I'm not whoever it was you were trying to write to, but there are way too many people I know who would start an email with a "forgive me" so I was about half-way through before I realized you _weren't_ actually one of them.

So, uh. Sorry? I mean. Sorry, really, and you should probably double check your friend's email.

But. Not to be too creepy or intrusive, barging in on someone's accidentally public conversation, but I know a bookstore on Isaacs Dr, behind the campus liquor store, (the one with the red roof, not the one with the blue roof), that had a copy of the book you mentioned. If you wanted to find a replacement. It's called _Fray & Garroway_, and if you tell them it's for Alec they'll give you a 10% discount.

Assuming you're even in Alicante, which may be a bit of a jump, but you did send your note via a UIA email address.

* * *

From: [ma.ba05@uia.edu](mailto:maba05@uia.edu) [M. Bane]  
To: [algili04@uia.edu](mailto:algili04@uia.edu) [Alec L]  
subj: _Charming, not awkward_

I feel, my darling Alec, (if I may?), that it must have been Providence that sent my email astray. Do you believe in fate? I think I do, as of today.

There cannot be many people in Alicante who have even _heard_ of Marlowe's delightfully obscure infatuation with the occult, much less know where to find a copy of a reprint of one of his books. Or be familiar enough to know a discount on that price-tag is not a trivial thing.

Not that I wouldn't have paid full price to redeem myself in my long-suffering (as he says) compatriot's eyes, but it is rather delightful to know that I did not have to, purely thanks to the kindness of a stranger.

Thank you.

You didn't have to reply at all, much less go out of your way to offer assistance. It's unusual to bump into such a giving soul these days. You have quite restored my faith in humanity.

\-- M

* * *

From: [algili04@uia.edu](mailto:algili04@uia.edu) [Alec L.]  
To: [ma.ba05@uia.edu](mailto:maba05@uia.edu) [M. Bane]  
subj: _you do have a way with words, don't you_

M, is it? Are we embarking on a mystery correspondence? I feel I may have fallen into a bad spy movie, or perhaps a pulp detective novel. (I am certainly no 007 to have fallen into a _good_ spy movie, after all.)

Do you have contacts scattered across Idris running secret errands for you? Clandestine meetings and secret back-alley exchanges?

(Please don't tell me if you don't, imagining a secret society dealing in strange matters of the occult is the most interesting thing to have happened to me all week, and the _only_ interesting thing in at least a month that wasn't bordering on a disaster, and is quite probably the only thing that's going to keep me awake for the next two hours of my shift.)

You're welcome, but you don't have to thank me. I just answered an email. Definitely not worth the weight of the entire human race settling in-between us.

* * *

From: [ma.ba05@uia.edu](mailto:maba05@uia.edu) [M. Bane]  
To: [algili04@uia.edu](mailto:algili04@uia.edu) [Alec L]  
subj: _but your words were so much more interesting than mine_

There are a myriad number of people whose job it is to reply to my emails and yet they never manage it. You are exceptional, and I refuse to let you avoid my gratitude. I am thanking you, and you are just going to have to accept that that is the state of things.

Also I may have laughed out loud and scared my best friend when I read your email, so now you have to keep responding so I can prove you're a real person and we're having a real conversation and she doesn't think I'm crazy.

Well. Crazier than usual.

You are a real person aren't you? Who likes spy movies and old pulp paperbacks? (Can you recommend some of those detective stories?  I really loved your bookstore, it was very welcoming. Sunlit and dusty and well-organized shelves but piles in the corners just waiting to be explored and the most gorgeous tiny pieces of artwork hiding in all the small bits of wall where shelves wouldn't fit. Quite my new favorite place, I think I shall be back, especially if I have a shopping list as an excuse?)

Don't answer that real person question, I don't want to know if it's a no, anymore than you want to know that there are no covert societies, encoded messages, or secret passages anywhere in my life.

Though wait, of course you must be real, that lovely young redhead at the bookstore was positively delighted at the idea that _Alec_ sent me, her whole face lit up with a smile.

Are you sure you're not _already_ living the life of a secret agent? I feel I may have unwittingly been involved in some of your clandestine courier work already.

Though I suppose secret agents do not generally have _shift work_.

* * *

From: [algili04@uia.edu](mailto:algili04@uia.edu) [Alec L.]  
To: [ma.ba05@uia.edu](mailto:maba05@uia.edu) [M. Bane]  
subj: _not nearly as interesting as you are_  
attach: ruleswip.docx  
attach: pulpfiction.docx

Oh hell, Clary was working? Were there charcoal stains on her fingers and a sketchbook on the counter? Was it an _evil_ smile?

It was, wasn't it. I'm doomed, I'm going to have to avoid family dinner for at least a month.

I could distract her with your compliments, perhaps? Most of the artwork is hers. Some of it was her mother's. Either way she actually almost looks shy whenever someone says something nice about it.

Or I could ask her all about you.

I feel like that would be uncalled for, but I'm not sure why. Are we playing a game? Are there rules? Would that be cheating?

Unless you asked her about me, in which case it would be entirely fair, and also that was definitely an evil smile and oh my gosh I'm rambling in an email. I'm typing myself rambling, clearly the sleep-deprivation has reached epic proportions, I am so sorry.

And yet I'm going to send this as is, because I think perhaps that might be one of the rules.

Maybe I should make a list? Would that be weird? This entire email is weird, have I apologized already?

See attached: two lists. Feel free to delete them. Or edit and send them back. I feel I have no idea what I'm doing anymore, I may need some direction.

That's wow. I'm kind of pushy tonight, sorry.

This is what happens when you work second shift at the student support center. Which is usually about as difficult as _did you try turning your laptop off and on again_ and _let me unjam the printer_ with the occasional _yes I do know how to format a bibliography, that's why I'm here._ I am definitely as far from a secret agent man as it is humanly possible to be, and my brain has mostly leaked out my ears from boredom by the time I'm done.

(That was an attractive description, wasn't it. I'm sorry.)

But second shift was quiet enough when I was an undergrad I could manage to do extra studying, and now they're stuck with me, I guess. Or I'm stuck with them? I'm not entirely sure anymore. At least this is the last year.

But now I'm wondering, if you're _not_ part of some secret coven of the occult, why The Book of the White?

Which is assuredly none of my business, feel free to ignore me.

If you've made it this far and still respond, I think I might start believing in miracles.

* * *

From: [ma.ba05@uia.edu](mailto:maba05@uia.edu) [M. Bane]  
To: [algili04@uia.edu](mailto:algili04@uia.edu) [Alec L]  
subj: _still with the incredibly charming_  
attach: ruleswip2.docx  
attach: pulpscripts.docx

I don't believe anyone has ever compared me to a miracle before, I am quite over-wrought.

That sentence came out even more melodramatically than I intended, but that does not mean it isn't sincere. We haven't met, but I find I am quite pleased to think I have earned your good opinion, and your curiosity.

I have indeed taken a look at your rules, and marked it up with my virtual purple pen. (Not red, because it did not need correction so much as expansion. You have a very economical way with words once you switch to informational.) Also I _counter_ your collection of ridiculously titled fiction (all of which I am looking forward to devouring) with some ridiculously styled plays. We did start this with Marlowe, after all.

I feel like it will be a great disappointment to tell you that I am doing regular boring class-related research; I do not think that crosses the bonds of this strange pseudo-anonymity we have, as you recognized the UIA email address, and thus know what an 05 extension means. (Though I still have no idea how my first email got routed to you. I am distressingly good at clicking the wrong thing, but that is a bit dramatic even for me. The servers must have had an aneurysm or something, the original recipient's an _08_ , on top of the entirely different set of initials.)

And no, I did not ask the redhead anything about you, I was oddly terrified that somehow she'd learn my entire life-story in the process. There was a very steely glint in her eyes when she rung me up.

But family dinner! I am entirely intrigued. Are you also a redhead, my mysterious benefactor? Cousin, brother, uncle?

I typed boyfriend in that list and erased it and typed it about three more times and then I looked up at our rules and realized you're right. I'm not sure if we've reached a coherent set of directions yet, but I don't wish to cheat either. I typed it, it stays.

* * *

From: [algili04@uia.edu](mailto:algili04@uia.edu) [Alec L.]  
To: [ma.ba05@uia.edu](mailto:maba05@uia.edu) [M. Bane]  
subj: _I may start blushing at any moment_  
attach: ruleswip3.docx  
attach: bmovietime.docx

Oh fuck no, definitely not her boyfriend, I am very gay and also she's kind of my sister?

And wow, that's a way to come out to one's secret pen pal _._ I really have to stop responding to your emails at 2 in the morning, I am always vaguely horrified when I remember what I said the next day, and this is clearly not going to be the exception.

Though, since you keep responding anyways, clearly I should _only_ respond at 2 in the morning? I may have to consider that one.

And no again, I am not a redhead, and the family dinner is a little complicated, (see the kind-of above) but I suppose I would be her step-brother once removed? That sounds entirely implausible doesn't it, it's quite obvious I just made that up.

Her step-dad married my mom.

That was much less complicated than I thought it was going to be, hmm. Clearly I have been over-thinking the family history every other time someone asked. Perhaps it's a lifetime of being over-sensitive. One of my brothers is adopted and we got a lot of _oh dear you look nothing alike_ comments when we were little.

But now I realize how very one-sided our conversation has become, you know my name and that I have a family hedge rather than a tree, that you can find some of us at a bookstore, and that I have a rainbow flag sitting in the cup of pens and highlighters on my desk.

Also that I am much more familiar with b-movies than b-plays, so I feel I must switch media in our disaster lists of duelling recommendations yet again. I did manage to find that set by Bernhardt to read, however, and they were joyfully terrible, I hope someday I can see them on stage.

My sister is staring at me in shock from across town, I always rolled my eyes when she was in her musical theatre stage in middle school. (Different sister, not the redhead.)

Then again I rolled my eyes at everything at that point, it's difficult being nice when you're so far in the closet you can't even see the door. And look at me, over-sharing again. I don't.

This isn't something I do? But since that email you sent back thanking me, I have felt like I've known you forever, and can tell you anything. Is it because I don't have a face to put to the words, so I'm not worrying about what I look like to you? Is it just that such sincere and honest gratitude isn't something I've really seen before? Maybe you don't think people can just _help_ just because, but I'm not sure I've ever seen someone just say _thank you_ without a single caveat _._ You answered me with such grace, it made my heart ache.

I don't know. And here I am getting all philosophical, the joys of 2am confessions. I can't say I'm sorry though, because that wouldn't be true.

But I know next to nothing about you. And you did just compliment my curiosity, it's in the email chain, I could copy-paste it and prove my point, if I had to. (Never leave a paper trail if you don't want it to be used against you.)

Though I can make an educated guess, at the very least, that your long-suffering compatriot is Professor Fell? I don't know why I didn't think of it earlier, I knew he had a bunch of Marlowe in his collection. And his old email got routed to mine over the summer when I did a work-study with him and he didn't want to deal with any more of Dean Aldertree's questions.

Everyone _else_ switched to his new extension when he got tenure. Except you. Providence does seem to be the answer here. I'm glad.

* * *

From: [maba05@uia.edu](mailto:maba05@uia.edu) [M. Bane]  
To: [algili04@uia.edu](mailto:algili04@uia.edu) [Alec L]  
subj: _the very thought makes me breathless_  
attach: ruleswip4.docx  
attach: ChairmanMeowFavorites.docx

I am honored you trusted me, Alec. Is that short for Alexander, perhaps? Would you mind if I called you that? It seems to fit the poetic nature of this correspondence.

Ragnor and I have been friends for a very long time, even before we both ended up on opposite ends of campus. It is terribly tempting to go ask him for a description of his interns last summer, except for the fact that I'd be lucky if he remembered the color of your hair. He could probably recognize your writing style within three words, but asking someone else is not how this goes, is it?

You are giving me _clandestine operation_ vibes again, darling. _Paper trails_. Who says things like that? Spies. In delightfully bad movies.

Oh, oh! Do you have a tuxedo with exploding cufflinks? I have always wanted to see such a thing.

And yes, I am avoiding your questions, and no, I am not entirely sure why.

Or I am, and it's vaguely embarrassing. I think I am afraid that as soon as you know my real name this will stop being some unexpected fairy tale I have landed in, and something will go wrong, and I'll never get another email from you, and that thought is more upsetting than it has any right to be. I trust you too, dramatically, inexplicably, and completely.

I have never wanted to delete anything as much as I want to delete that paragraph. But you sent me all your sincere 2am ramblings, so I must do the same.

You make me brave, my mysterious Alexander.

Our rules list is not so much rules as elaborate flirtation at this point, wouldn't you say? And we've made our way through books and plays and movies, so now have a list of the music I never admit to people I listen to when I'm home alone and dancing for the cat.

My name is Magnus, and I have no real family to speak of, so I am not at all sure what one means by a _hedge_ but I must admit that I want to find out.

And also that I _especially_ wish to see a tuxedo on _you,_ which I am sure is entirely too forward of me and I am quite sure I have just scared you away and I have never been so nervous about clicking that damn send icon in my life.

* * *

From: [algili04@uia.edu](mailto:algili04@uia.edu) [Alec L.]  
To: [ma.ba05@uia.edu](mailto:maba05@uia.edu) [M. Bane]  
subj: _forget breathless, I think I've forgotten how to breathe entirely  
_ attach: music.docx

I don't think I have successfully flirted with anyone before in my entire life. I feel suspiciously like I might be having an attack of the vapors like the characters from an old romance novel.

Don't tell my sister I read old romance novels. Or that there are showtunes on my music list. She will never let me hear the end of it. And look at me, assuming you want to meet my sister. Did I mention breathing is not really a thing at the moment?

Your cat's name is _Chairman Meow?_ That is the second-best thing I've heard in my life.

First is that this unexpected correspondence means as much to you as it does to me. Or maybe first is the idea of you calling me Alexander. No one does, never have, though I've had to repeatedly correct a few teachers over the years to keep it that way, but I like the idea of it coming from you. I like that very much.

To answer your sort-of question before I get to my actual question, because I am nervous enough I have started this email about five times already, law students talk about paper trails. Especially in their last year when they're trying desperately not to think too much about everything that could go wrong before graduation and how easy it is to fail the Bar.

And here we go. If you were brave I cannot be any less, can I?

It's not a tuxedo, but if you do want to meet the hedge (and me, hopefully more so) Clary's best friend Simon is a musician, and he has a gig this weekend at The Hunter's Moon, if you would like to come and find out...

I don't know, find out if this is a real off the computer screen as it is inside it, somewhere public where it'll be easy enough to make a strategic retreat if necessary.

Or, I think we're past _easy retreats,_ but at least it'll be possible.

I hope we don't have to.

It will be an awful lot of the hedge though, if that's too much? We could try coffee or something first.

I mean, there's my brother and sister and step-sister and Simon and his girlfriend (who also works at the bookstore, we're a tangled disaster) and sometimes my friend Lydia because if I don't drag her out occasionally she's even more of a workaholic than I am. And it would be even worse if our cousin Aline was here, but she's visiting her girlfriend abroad.

They frequently are too much. Because they will, assuredly, every single one of them, make a comment on me inviting someone. Except maybe Lydia. She'll give you a _look_ though. She's very good at those. So. Just. A warning? Hell, that paragraph looks terrifying and I know all of them already. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, and if I had to talk instead of type I'm pretty sure I'd be stuttering. I kind of am, even here, aren't I?

I am 102% convinced I have just scared you away, but it's better to warn you than drop you in the middle of _that._ No one deserves that, and especially not someone I am very much looking forward to meeting.

And I really better hit send now or I'm going to give myself a heart-attack.

* * *

From: [maba05@uia.edu](mailto:maba05@uia.edu) [M. Bane]  
To: [algili04@uia.edu](mailto:algili04@uia.edu) [Alec L]  
subj: _breathing is overrated_

I have, my entire life, always been the one who is too much for someone else. I think it only fair, at our first acquaintance, that you have the opportunity to be too much as well. I would be delighted to dive into the deep-end of whatever this is and start out by meeting your family. We've done everything else out of order, haven't we?

With the caveat that perhaps we meet _outside_ rather than in the middle of your hedge? (Do they know you call them that? Can _I_ call them that? That sounds delightful.) Just in case, as you said.

And to share note by note, and also so you can answer your delightful hedge's presumably nosy questions about who the dashing man you've invited along even _is,_ I am finishing up the second year of my very first real professor job in the drama department.

Not that that is likely to be a surprise, considering Marlowe and Bernhardt.

Also the eyeliner tends to add to that conclusion for most people who have met me in person. I am so very much looking forward to adding you to that list. (Also I'm terrified. Is it alright to be terrified? Should I admit that? Probably not. Too late now!) What's your favorite color, Alexander? I think I shall need the fortitude of getting my nails done before I arrive.

* * *

From: [algili04@uia.edu](mailto:algili04@uia.edu) [Alec L.]  
To: [ma.ba05@uia.edu](mailto:maba05@uia.edu) [M. Bane]  
subj: _but I need to survive until Saturday_

There's a bus-stop around the corner, on 5th? We can meet there at 8 on Saturday, and then decide if you're willing to come inside with me or not. (I have _not_ ever called the family a hedge before I attempted to explain them to you, and most definitely not to their faces. I highly encourage you to do so, so that I can watch. Is that mean? That might be a little mean of me, I do apologize. Sort of.)

I don't think anyone's asked me my favorite color since I outgrew my moody teenage years and the only possible answer was _black,_ with perhaps the occasional detour into grey. Would it be terribly out of line of me to admit that meeting you makes me think of the sunrise, and thus I am, at the moment, most especially fond of pink and gold?

* * *

From: [maba05@uia.edu](mailto:maba05@uia.edu) [M. Bane]  
To: [algili04@uia.edu](mailto:algili04@uia.edu) [Alec L]  
subj: _if you keep saying things like that, I'm not going to survive either_

I never knew heart-attacks were contagious, but oh I think you shared yours with me with that last line. You are painfully romantic, Alexander, I am in awe.

But now I desperately need a change of conversational topic or I will fidget myself into a disaster by Saturday night, _that's two whole days._

Why law school, if I may be both bold and boring and ask the obvious and impertinent?

I shall answer your return question, _why the theatre?_ before you even have to ask. Or the short version, anyways. It gave me a world better than the one I was living in when I was young, and then it was just so _very pretty_ that I never wanted to leave. Especially when I realized how many other people need that escape as well, and I could help them find it.

That got a bit more serious than I intended. That does keep happening to me, as soon as I start a message to you. I have never failed so entirely at being a light and sparkling and charming personality before. You're remarkable.

* * *

From: [algili04@uia.edu](mailto:algili04@uia.edu) [Alec L.]  
To: [ma.ba05@uia.edu](mailto:maba05@uia.edu) [M. Bane]  
subj: _you have rendered me almost entirely speechless_

I am not at all remarkable but the fact that you think so has kept me smiling all day. At least three people asked if I was all right, Lydia asked what _his_ name is, whoever he is, (I have not told her yet, but I did re-invite her to Simon's gig, and I think she's definitely decided to come now), and I didn't even mind having to fix the same printer error four times tonight.

And you are easily the most captivating person I have ever (almost?) met.

Most of the time when people ask _why law school_ it's easy enough to fob them off with a shrug, to mention that my father's a lawyer and my mother's a forensic accountant so I sort of just grew into it. _Lightwood family tradition._ Or something.

But my father's really the reason I almost _didn't_ go to law school at all, and I don't want to give you the wrong impression. It's also a bit of a long story and may quite well ruin the conversation and if I scared you off now I think I might not recover any time soon.

Which is my way of saying _hello there terror, nice you're visiting me, too._

I suppose the short version would be that, after Jace (the adopted brother) and my parents' truly disastrous divorce, I'd seen too many cases of terrible situations where no one had a real advocate. So I'm going into family law.

Hopefully. Assuming I don't have a panic attack and fail the Bar. Which is honestly what every other law student I know thinks is going to happen and clearly we can't _all_ be that disastrous, but it's hard to keep that in mind some days.

Most days.

I can tell you the long story, if you'd like, but I have to admit I rather desperately want to kiss you before I say something too depressing and you no longer want to kiss me back. (And don't think I didn't notice you doing the exact same thing with your long story.)

And the 2am inability to think before I type is back. I did not miss you.

I am going to hit send now before I chicken out or die of mortification.

* * *

From: [maba05@uia.edu](mailto:maba05@uia.edu) [M. Bane]  
To: [algili04@uia.edu](mailto:algili04@uia.edu) [Alec L]  
subj: _asdfjklgh (how's that for speechless?)_

  
I may have just lost a half-an-hour staring blankly at my screen imagining _Alexander kisses_ so. Priorites agreed upon! Until tonight it is.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [[tumblr](http://faejilly.tumblr.com/post/173780646253)]

[magnus] Cat! Help!

[cat] what have you done now?

[magnus] I have a date?

[cat] why does that have a question mark? Either you do or you do not

[magnus] I do but like his six (6!) literal and metaphorical and extended family siblings are also going to be there and I don't know what to wear that says both "please take me home with you" to him and "I am a perfectly respectable boyfriend for your brother" to them

[cat] you're what now

[magnus] IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME

[cat] how?

[magnus] he was charmingly nervous about introducing me to his family and he said he didn't want it to be too much and I just caved

[magnus] I haven't even met him yet and I'm entirely vulnerable to his virtual puppy eyes I'm going to screw this up it's going to be awful oh hell what am I doing

[cat] how. I know I said that already but HOW do these things happen to you

[magnus] it's Ragnor's fault this time, I was sending him an email and it was forwarded to his summer lackey from when he (Ragnor) was avoiding Aldertree and he (my soon to be date) knew where to find the book I needed and somehow now we got from there to here and 

[magnus] I DON'T KNOW CAT, they just do

[cat] ... 

[magnus] I can see you sighing in that pause

[cat] this is that email thing, isn't it?

[magnus] he's in law school. He wants to go into family law and he's so kind and he talks about his family like they're the most important thing and he's going to protect them from everything and I just. 

[magnus] are you going to help me or not

[cat] you know my idea of fashion is Not Scrubs so no, I am not going to help with that, but I will come to the nail salon for a pedicure with you and remind you how to breathe

[magnus] that is an acceptable compromise, thank you darling

[cat] you're welcome

* * *

[alec] Izzy

[izzy] that is my name, did you have a question to go along with that?

[alec] yes

[izzy] you have to actually type it or I can't answer it

[alec] I know that

[izzy] and yet?

[alec] you have to promise not to tell anyone

[izzy] tell anyone what? 

[alec] promise first

[izzy] with the usual caveat, I promise

[alec] fair

[alec] I have a date?

[izzy] REALLY?! THAT'S WONDERFUL 

[izzy] wait why is there a question mark?

[alec] I invited him to Simon's gig?

[izzy] why

[izzy] WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

[izzy] wtf, I love our family I do but Alec. The only reason Maia hasn't run away screaming is that she knew what she was getting into ahead of time.

[izzy] how could you do that to someone you want to hang around for more than five seconds?

[alec] I don't know

[alec] I tried to offer coffee instead but we'd talked about family and I wanted him to know ME and you know there's no any of us without the rest of us and if it seemed like it was going to work out and then WE were too much I don't think

[alec] I don't think I could take it

[izzy] oh, Alec

[alec] and he's a theatre professor and I don't know what to wear that won't make him take one look and think I'm boring, and then another look and realize my family is crazy, and then walk out the door

[alec] oh no what am I doing Izzy this is such a terrible idea

[izzy] you really like him don't you

[alec] yes

[izzy] all right then, who am I to stand in the way of dramatic and impulsive life decisions, it's the Lightwood family way, right?

[alec] we have terrible family traditions

[izzy] maybe this will turn them around a little

[alec] I can't find the eyeroll emoji on this phone, but you know what it looks like

[izzy] hey. You're the one who asked ME for help

[alec] sorry. Please. Yes. Thank you.

[izzy] oh you've got it bad don't you

[alec] not helping!

[izzy] oh my poor big brother. All right. We don't want anything too fancy or you'll give entirely the wrong impression because we all know that that is never going to happen again. 

[alec] oh no I am too boring aren't I

[izzy] shush you.

[izzy] That green shirt Mom got you for your birthday. It's nice but not too nice, and it brings out your eyes. Roll the sleeves up! (Undo that top button or two.)

[alec] really? That's it?

[izzy] well, I assume you're going to wear pants since the rest of us will be seeing you too

[alec] I should have seen that response coming shouldn't I?

[izzy] I can add some coming jokes to the repertoire if you really want

[alec] NO, no I'm good. Jeans and boots, got it, try and be normal, I have no idea how to be normal but I'll fake it anyways.

[izzy] you're a good guy, and it shows

[izzy] and I know you don't believe me but half my friends in high school were sighing after you, you don't give yourself enough credit. 

[izzy] He'll probably take one look and fall head over heels

[alec] it has never worked like that

[izzy] it only has to work that way once

[alec] that's weirdly comforting

[alec] thanks Izzy

[izzy] you're welcome

[izzy] and I am absolutely sharing this entire conversation with Jace after your date goes amazingly well you know that right?

[alec] I know.

[izzy] <3

[alec] love you too


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [[tumblr](http://faejilly.tumblr.com/post/173926331198)]

Magnus' nails were pink with an iridescent gold wash on top. Hands and feet. Not that anyone could see his feet beneath the leather of his shoes, but there was always the _potential_ of a very good night.

He was getting so far ahead of himself it was ridiculous. What if Alexander wasn't as nice in person as he seemed in text? What if there wasn't a single spark of chemistry? What if he was as beautiful as he sounded but didn't want anything from Magnus once he'd seen him? What if Alexander did like him but his family didn't? Magnus got the feeling that there was no long-term Alexander under those circumstances.

Why was he worried about long-term? He hadn't even really _met_ him yet. But he'd been half gone by that very first email, a surprise hand reaching out of the dark for no other reason than he _could._ Hells and demons and fuck. 

Magnus took a deep breath, and threw his shoulders back, and walked around the corner.

He could see a man leaning against the bus stop at the end of the block, looking at his phone as he waited.

There was an awful lot of jean-clad leg going on in that lean.

That was promising.

As if Magnus needed to be any _more_ infatuated than he was already.

Magnus wasn't making much noise, but he wasn't trying to be quiet either, and he was still a few steps away when the man looked up. He stuck his phone in his pocket and stood up straight and moved half a step forward all in one smooth shift of his weight and _oh._ That was entirely too much gorgeous to process. He was a little taller than Magnus, and his arms past his sleeves were just _um_ , and his shoulders, and _green,_ and his eyelashes were entirely improbable, and his eyes were beautiful, green and brown and gold. His nostrils flared, and his eyes widened, and he glanced down and he _smiled,_ and Magnus felt a little dizzy when he realized he'd smiled at Magnus' nail-polish.

Also because that smile. Wide and startled and delighted and as dizzy looking as Magnus felt.

He lifted his eyebrows, and Magnus almost whimpered. He stuck his hand out with a dazed sort of shift of his arm, and his voice was beautiful, low and gentle. "Magnus?"

Magnus felt rather like he was underwater, but it was a nice sort of drowning, and he reached his hand out too. The touch of his palm was like lightning, a shock through Magnus' skin and a spark down his spine and thunder rolling through his chest.

"Alexander," Magnus sighed out as their hands stayed clasped together. 

He saw Alexander swallow, an odd dark light in his eyes after Magnus said his name. "Marry me?"

"Ok," Magnus answered.

Alexander's impossible smile widened even further, and then his eyes too as if he'd only now realized what they'd both said.

"Kiss me?" Magnus asked. He'd figure out the engagement thing later.

"God, yes." Alexander let go of Magnus' hand to cup his face instead, and at first there was just a gentle brush of their lips together, warm enough Magnus felt his knees tremble. Alexander's fingers brushed gently across Magnus' cheeks, and Magnus leaned in closer. Alexander's mouth opened against his and Magnus did whimper this time, felt Alexander shiver at the feel of it, and that was it, he was gone entirely, forgot the world, everything except the press of Alexander's mouth and the way his tongue moved. Heat bloomed beneath Magnus' skin, and they were now close enough he could feel the echo of Alexander's heartbeat in his own chest.

He felt a jerk through his body as Alexander hit the bus shelter's wall, he hadn't even realized they'd been moving backwards, and Alexander moaned and Magnus almost died, eyes rolling back in his head and fingers curling as he gripped Alexander's shirt, pushing up on his toes to lean in harder, to kiss him harder, to feel more of their bodies pressed together.

He heard a cough somewhere behind them and he would have ignored it but he kind of had to breathe and he'd been right when he said breathing was overrated, kissing was much better. But he let his feet settle back flat on the ground, and felt Alexander sigh as their lips parted, and his hands stayed cupping Magnus' face. 

"Wow." Magnus felt Alexander's breath against his mouth, and he managed to open his eyes to agree but that might have been a mistake because Alexander's face, flushed and dark-eyed and _god his mouth,_ and Magnus almost whimpered _again_ which was not at all a thing he'd ever done before, much less almost three times in a row. 

The second cough sounded more amused, and Magnus turned even as Alexander's hands slipped away from his face. Before he could be terribly sad about that, one of them found his hand, and they tangled their fingers together, and Magnus could feel a ridiculous smile on his face. 

"Lydia." Alexander's voice was rough, _god,_ and he had to clear his throat before he tried again. "Lydia Branwell, Magnus Bane." And then he just sort of shrugged, as if he wasn't sure where to go from there.

The woman standing in front of them had a decidedly amused curl to her lips, an exquisitely tailored blouse, straight slacks, and sensible pumps. Her blonde hair was braided back from her face into a loose ponytail, which shifted slightly back and forth as she shook her head. "It's lovely to meet you, Magnus."

She didn't offer a hand to shake, and Magnus wasn't sure if she wasn't the type, or she was taking pity on their clutching fingers and helping him not have to let go. "And you, Lydia."

She took a half a step forward and patted Alexander on the shoulder. "Maybe give it a sec before you come inside, or Jace will never shut up about your," she paused and tilted her head. "Everything?"

Alexander snorted and _oh,_ that was attractive too, what the actual hell. She stepped back again, and looked at Magnus, and her smile widened. "Good luck."

And then she was gone, a steady click of her heels as she walked around the corner.

Magnus turned a little to look at Alexander and Lydia was right, there was a lot of... _everything._ Including some lip gloss Magnus had kissed onto his lips. Which was, yet again, distractingly hot.

"Wow." Magnus echoed. He couldn't quite. _Wow._

Alexander laughed, soft and breathy, and ran his free hand through his hair. "Yeah."

He tilted his head, and he had a half of an adorable smile as he looked at Magnus, a glint of something a little sharper in his eyes. "Maybe we should wait until tomorrow to tell them we're engaged?"

Magnus raised his eyebrows and let himself be tugged a little closer, until there was barely any space between them. "And why is that?"

Alexander leaned in, his breath hot against Magnus' ear, and Magnus didn't even _try_ to hide the shiver of appreciation at that. "What if we have to call it off because the sex is terrible?"

Magnus gasped in mock indignation, and turned his head to look in Alexander's eyes, so close their noses almost bumped together. Alexander was laughing, it was dancing in his eyes, and it ached in Magnus' chest and burned in his throat because he was so beautiful.

And it was so clearly impossible. Magnus had had sex that wasn't as good as that kiss and thought he'd had a perfectly enjoyable night. 

"Someone's sure of how his night's going to end." Magnus lifted his chin, and saw Alec's gaze shift, from Magnus' eyes to the line of his neck and back up to his lips. 

"Aren't you?" Alec whispered.

"Fuck, yes." Magnus answered, and leaned in to kiss him again, a slow quiet press of his lips, and he made himself pull back before anything else started again. "But they're expecting us, and I get the impression that if we make them wait this will only get... more interesting?"

Alec's eyes closed, and he shook his head, but his smile was gentle and fond, and it was hard to breathe, to witness how much he loved his family. "Unfortunately true."

"Well, then." Magnus pulled his hand free, and shook out his arms and tugged on the bottom of his waistcoat and almost lunged to kiss Alexander again at the noise he made as he watched, sharp and breathless. "Stop that."

"I can't." Alexander shrugged, his hands spread wide. "You are much too devastatingly handsome."

"That's not any better." Magnus had meant to tease, but his voice was too light and rushed, and he could tell his face was giving everything away.

"But it's true." Alexander's voice was rough again and it was seeming increasingly unlikely that Magnus was going to survive the night without combusting. 

Magnus tried to glare, which he doubted was very effective, but Alexander knew what he meant anyways. He let out one hard breath closed his eyes, and stepped back. He pulled his shirt straight, and ran his hands through his hair with a very clear, _well if it's going to be a mess it might as well go all the way_ sort of gesture, and started to turn. 

"Wait." Magnus reached out, and let his fingertips brush against Alexander's arm. "There's, uh." He pointed at Alexander's mouth as he turned. "Lip gloss?"

Alexander _grinned,_ and it was as bad as the handshake, a kick in his chest and heat in his gut and he really _really_ wasn't going to survive the night. "Good."

Magnus swallowed yet another whimper, and let Alexander take his hand, and followed him around the corner.

* * *

Magnus was.

Magnus was breathtaking.

Magnus was wearing a vest that hugged the curve of his back and had sleeves that were so tight around his biceps it made Alec's throat go dry. Delicate embroidered trim contrasted with actual hardware, black-washed steel buckles on his thighs and his boots. Everything was black on white or white on black, except for the pink of his nails and the scatter of gold glitter and a dark blue _cravat._ Who wore cravats? No one, and Alec could not, now that he'd seen one, imagine why. He wanted to untie it with his _teeth._ Alternatively he wanted to take everything else off until that was all that was left. It was difficult to decide. Maybe he'd be very lucky and get the chance to try both? Someday?

Alec had been hoping they'd still at least like each other when they met but this.

He was going to die and it was going to be completely worth it because _Magnus_.

The bar wasn't too loud yet as they made their way inside. Alec gave Magnus' hand a squeeze as he started back towards the usual Lightwood table, and looked back as they approached to throw him a smile. 

Alec had no idea how one person could be so incredibly gorgeous.

And it wasn't just the presentation, _though hot damn,_ it was the way he moved and the light in his eyes and his smile, so gentle and devastating.

Alec had a feeling he'd just marked a line in his life, _before Magnus_ and _after Magnus._ It was a wonderful feeling.

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood!"

Alec turned back around and blinked at Izzy, whose hands were on her hips and whose eyes were trying to glare, but her lips were twitching as if she was having a very hard time not laughing. 

"Are you going to introduce us, or continue to stare besottedly at your guest?"

"Stare besottedly." Alec answered with a grin. "Can you blame me?"

Clary covered her mouth, though it didn't muffle the snort of laughter _at all._

Alec turned back around, and tugged Magnus just a few steps closer, and oh he really did want to stare a little longer, but he made himself behave. "I feel I should apologize before we get started, but this was sort of your idea."

Magnus smiled at him, sly and sideways and almost shy but still determined and Alec thought his heart stopped beating. "I am delighted to meet the hedge in person, do get on with it, darling."

 _God, I love you._ He didn't quite say it out loud, but Magnus' lips parted on a soft sigh, and Alec was relatively sure it was plastered all over his face. 

"Hedge?" Jace muttered in the background, but Alec ignored him. 

"Clary Fray, my sister and the artist whose work you admired at the store," Alec grinned again as Clary's cheeks turned very slightly pink. "May I introduce Magnus Bane?"

"I knew that already, Alec." Clary bounced up, and gave Magnus a hug, so quickly that the surprise had barely started to show in Magnus' eyes before she was sitting down again. "But I am delighted to be introduced to your _date,_ rather than just some surprise visitor waving your name around and buying obscure used books."

"Books plural?" Alec looked at Magnus again, who shrugged gracefully, the light shifting just enough to show off the pattern on his vest, black on black so it was only sometimes visible. 

Alec had been able to feel it easily enough when they were pressed together, fine and twirling lines all the way around Magnus' body.

"I may have wandered back a few times and gotten most of your list."

Alec swallowed, and he really was going to say something ridiculous at any moment, though he supposed it couldn't get much worse than _marry me_ at first acquaintance. Which had worked out surprisingly well, all things considered. He still wasn't sure how serious either of them had been, but that was all right. They'd figure it out. "I own most of those, you could have just asked."

"But it was so much more fun to go exploring, to see every little nook and cranny of a place that was so clearly a part of you."

Alec's throat was much too full to manage an answer to that, so he lifted Magnus' hand instead, and kissed it right behind the knuckles, watching Magnus' eyes the entire time. 

"Oh my god," Simon's whisper carried, clearly on purpose. "That was really smooth. Did any of you know Alec could do smooth?"

There was a rather universal if ragged chorus of ' _no's_ and Alec rolled his eyes. Magnus' smile twitched, and Alec sighed and turned around to face the table again.

"All right you uncivilized monsters," Alec pretended to glare, but he was quite aware he was smiling too much to make it work. "First we have Simon Lewis, who had the misfortune to be best friends with Clary at five and has never recovered his senses, and is also this evening's entertainment."

"Speaking of." Simon popped up onto his feet, down again to give Maia a quick kiss, and then up again and away from the table. "I have to get going to set up, it was nice to meet you." He managed about half a hurried hand-shake before he disappeared into the crowd.

"Next is Maia Roberts," Maia managed a much more reasonable hand-shake as Magnus leaned across the table. "Who is much too good for the everything that is the extended Fray-Garroway-Lightwood catastrophe. I am not at all sure why she puts up with the rest of us."

"You're not so bad, Alec." Her smile lifted up a little wider. "It's the rest of these children who need looking after."

"Hey." Jace's protest was entirely insincere and pro forma. "All old enough to drink, _technically_ not children."

"Because _technicalities_ are the best way to win that argument." Maia crossed her arms and gave Jace a look. 

"The persuasive one is my brother Jace." Jace threw his napkin at Alec, but it caught the air wrong and sort of drifted back down to the table. Alec leaned in closer to Magnus. "He is probably going to attempt to corner you and ask about your intentions at some point, because even though he's younger than me he's very over-protective and has the problem solving skills of a twelve-year-old."

"Hey!" That time Jace managed to sound slightly offended. "I wouldn't have to be _a perfectly reasonable amount_ of protective if you would ever take care of yourself instead of everyone else around you."

That was probably accurate enough it wasn't worth contesting. 

"Lydia Branwell." Lydia's smile quirked up again, and she was so very clearly amused at him. 

"And lastly, my sister Isabelle. Izzy, Magnus."

Izzy shook Magnus' hand, and lifted her chin and looked down her nose, and Alec hated when she did that because he could never tell what she was thinking, which was of course _why_ she was doing it. He huffed a breath out in annoyance. 

Izzy smiled, and leaned in closer. "It is lovely to meet you, Magnus." She shot a sideways glance at Alec, who had a sudden and perfectly reasonable feeling of terror shiver down his spine. She hooked her arm around Magnus', and sat him down next to her at the table. "I'll have you know, that this is a singular occasion."

"Is it?" Magnus lifted his eyebrow, and the light glinted off his rings as his hands moved, and Alec couldn't quite help a sigh of appreciation before he sat down across from him. "How so?"

"Our brother has _never_ invited a date to a family occasion before. You must be something special."

"Never?" Magnus turned his smile back toward Alec, and it was very slightly surprised and entirely happy and Alec couldn't have stopped himself from smiling back if his life depended on it. Magnus' hand draped across the table, and Alec reached out and their fingers hooked together, just at the very last knuckle. Alec was pretty sure he was never going to move again, not if it would risk losing the feel of Magnus' skin against his. "Really, Alexander?"

Alec shrugged, and almost asked Magnus to marry him again, just to hear him say his name like that _forever._

"Alexander?" Izzy turned to look at Alec with eyebrows raised, but he ignored her entirely. He could see her and Jace exchanging a _look_ in his peripheral vision, but Magnus was so clearly trying not to laugh at Izzy's tone that he didn't dare look away and miss a moment.

Jace wadded up his napkin and tossed it again, slightly more successfully, but Alec saw it coming and grabbed it without having to turn his head at all. Magnus raised his eyebrows in appreciation and Alec could feel himself blushing. But it was a game now, how long could they last? Magnus tilted his head, and Alec could hear the question, _whatever will the hedge try next, do you think?_

"I think you meant _subjected_ ," Jace raised his voice, just a little. "He's never _subjected_ a date to the rest of us before. Maybe he thinks we'll scare you off."

Maia smacked Jace on the back of the head, but he just swatted a hand in her general direction and didn't stop grinning.

"I think you'll find I'm difficult to frighten." Magnus' voice dropped, almost a purr, and yes, death by Magnus, definitely how Alec's night was going to end. He didn't think he'd ever felt anything like this kind of _want,_ for everything from the feel of the tips of his hair to the glint in his eyes to the lift of his voice and his fingers and the graceful way he moved. Definitely for more kissing. 

More than kissing.

It was dangerous to think about more than kisses, especially when he saw the way Magnus' eyes darkened, the flick of his eyes down to Alec's mouth and back up again, and he could feel it building again, the flush of heat he'd felt when they kissed, the drifts of it that hadn't gone away, warmth curling through him every time he looked at Magnus.

"Well that didn't work." Lydia's amusement washed down the table and over Jace, who grunted something that probably meant he'd rolled his eyes at her.

"I think we're lucky they're not making out across the table, honestly." Isabelle was sitting the closest to them, was probably catching the edges of their staring contest. "Which is not a sentence I ever thought I'd say about _Alec_ while sitting in a bar."

Clary started laughing, which _almost_ worked; Clary laughing was a thing Alec was used to looking at, joining in on, (probably because half the time it was at Jace), but he managed to resist. "Are you wearing pink lip gloss, Alec?"

Lydia laughed, loud and easy, leaning back in her chair, and it was such a good sound, one none of them heard often enough, not since John. Alec felt his smile soften, for her sake, and the heat dancing between him and Magnus settled, just a little, as Magnus' face eased too.

"Magnus is wearing pink lip gloss," Alec said. "When you add the gold glitter over his eyes, it matches his nails."

Magnus' shoulders did a little curl, back and forth, as if he was pleased Alec had noticed. 

Clary leaned in closer, close enough Alec could see her hair dangling just a little past the side of his face. He really did almost turn to look that time. Would have, if Magnus hadn't curled his fingers a little tighter to hold Alec in place. "I think there's some glitter there on your cheeks too."

"Probably."

Jace made a half a groan in the back of his throat, while it sounded like Izzy swallowed a giggle.

Clary's voice dropped, barely more than a whisper. "I'm happy for you, big brother." She gave him a quick kiss on the check, then slid back into her seat. 

"I like that one," Magnus' let his gaze flicker for just a second, over to Clary and back again.

"I am pretty glad we picked her up." Alec agreed. "Though she was really annoying when she was fifteen."

Clary kicked the side of his chair, and Magnus winked, and Alec turned and grabbed her and dragged her into a hug. "Thank you, Fray." He kissed her temple before he let her go.

She pretended to grump at him as she collapsed back into her chair, but she was blushing and smiling and it was adorable.

"You should have seen that one at fifteen, though." Jace snorted. "So much worse."

"There were extenuating circumstances." Alec snorted right back. "Remember you at fifteen? Or _Izzy_?"

"Izzy was lovely at fifteen, shush you." Clary pushed at his chair with her foot again, though it wasn't hard enough to be another kick. 

"You say that just because you were thirteen and wanted to be just like her."

"Well, yeah." Clary snorted. "So did everyone."

"I am pretty stunning." 

All five of them threw half the pile of napkins at Isabelle for that one, and Magnus started laughing, a low soft chuckle, and Alec's brain short-circuited entirely at the sound.

Lydia made a noise that was almost a snort, and her voice came out half-strangled. "Oh no, I think Magnus broke him."

"Oh, there are much better ways to do that." Magnus' voice was silky smooth, and his eyes had gone even darker than before and _fuck, please,_ if Magnus was involved Alec would welcome shattering into a million pieces.

"How many do you think we can get through tonight?" Alec leaned forward, and watched the catch of Magnus' breath in the line of his throat, the tip of his tongue just there between his ever-so-slightly parted lips, the wide and desperate heat in his eyes that looked just like Alec's chest felt.

"What is happening," Maia voice dipped up and down a little with half-suppressed laughter. "Who is this and what did he do with Alec Lightwood?"

"I have no idea," Lydia's voice was too dry to wobble, but equally amused. "He seems a happy replacement, maybe we should keep him."

Magnus shook his head, and Alec couldn't look away from the shadows crossing his neck, the faint wave of his hair. "I'm keeping him."

"Good." Alec looked back up into Magnus' eyes, waited until he saw the barest shift of a nod. 

He knew. They both knew. Alec didn't know how it had happened, but this, _them._ He was already in far too deep. If Magnus didn't want to keep going?

Talk about shattered.

And not the good kind.

Alec swallowed too hard, and he saw Magnus see, and he felt Magnus' tighten the grip of his fingers.

He was about to suggest they leave early, _apologies to Simon,_ when the lights flickered, and he knew he was too late. He settled back in his chair and turned toward the small stage at the end of the room.

Simon was actually quite _good_ at what he did, and Alec didn't think that was just family loyalty talking. It wasn't hard to relax as Simon sang, even knowing Magnus was an arms reach away and for some reason not being kissed. 

Plenty of time for that later, right?

_A lifetime._

Oh that was terrible, he was going to say something like that out loud any minute and freak everyone out. 

"I have a question for you." Izzy's voice was soft, just loud enough to carry under the music while Simon finished his first song and slid into the some sort of dance mix as she leaned in closer to Magnus. "Do you dance?"

Magnus' eyes lit up, and his smile was _wicked,_ and Alec thought he was going to like this.

"I choreographed the musical, what do you think?"

Izzy's sly smile widened into something more genuine, and she legitimately _clapped her hands_ in delight. Alec almost snorted. "My brother generally refuses to dance, but if you would like to?"

Magnus looked at Alec, and _oh_ , the wicked was getting worse, darker and deeper and enticing. "I think we could manage that. Do keep a close eye out, Alexander."

Alec lifted his eyebrows, but he knew he was doomed. So doomed. It was wonderful.

Alec shifted out of the way as everyone else left, and pushed his chair back far enough he finally had enough room to let his legs stretch out under the table. 

And then he watched.

He usually just watched, listened to Simon and watched his grin; Simon never looked so alive as when he was performing. Watched Izzy tease and Jace smirk; dancing was almost always flirting for both of them, though half the time they seemed to be flirting with the music itself, rather than any individual person around them. Watched Clary and Maia dive in, laughing, washing up against Simon's gear just long enough to smile or wave or blow him a kiss before they let themselves be drawn back into the crowd. Even Lydia would slink her way into the middle and close her eyes and relax, at last, all her worries turned off as she followed the shift of bodies around her.

John had never been much for dancing either, had always warmed the table with Alec, so it was one of the few places she never missed him.

One of the many times Alec did.

But tonight. Tonight Alec forgot everything else as soon as Magnus started dancing. 

He didn't have the words, even just in his own head, to describe what he saw, to know what Magnus was doing, but it was stunning, the way he seemed to _be_ the music, not just playing with it but inhabiting it, control all the way to his fingertips, a curve of his shoulders and a spin of his hips and a twist one way before his toes led him the other and just _watching_ was better than some sex Alec had had, which was a thought destined to make him feel faint because _sex with Magnus_ who could _move like that._

The music shifted, just a little, still a good beat but Simon was getting ready to sing again, and Magnus was dancing his way back to the table.

Alec leaned back a little further in his chair and enjoyed the show, until Magnus got close enough to rest a hand on the table and lean in, providing an especially good view of the length of his chest and the line of his hips and how very tight his sleeves were.

"Wow." Alec offered, and Magnus' shoulders did that pleased little curl again.

"Would you say we managed a successful introduction, Alexander?"

Alec hummed as if he had to consider. Magnus lifted a single eyebrow, and how was that so _hot?_ "You even heard Simon sing."

"I did."

"Then yes, mission accomplished."

"Oh, I haven't even started on my mission tonight." Magnus' gaze took a very deliberate and leisurely journey down Alec's body and back up again. 

Alec wanted to moan, but he kept it to a short catch of breath. Barely. He reached up to grab the lapels of Magnus' vest, and pulled himself up enough for one kiss, short and hard, before shoving Magnus back enough that he could stand. "Fucking gorgeous."

Magnus' smile tilted up again, half a laugh sparkling in his eyes. "Gorgeous fucking?"

"As soon as possible." Not kissing him again was one of the most difficult decisions Alec had ever made. He held up a finger, not entirely sure he could speak, and slipped around the edges of the crowd to find Isabelle and say good night.


	4. Chapter 4

Alexander might have claimed not to dance, but he slipped through the crowd like water, like he was hunting, sleek and gorgeous. He twisted around people who had barely realized he was there before he was gone, and the heat beneath Magnus' skin had nothing to do with the exertion from dancing.

There was a gentle pause in his movement, and Isabelle turned, and even from here Magnus could see her smirk. She opened her mouth, but Alexander kissed her on the forehead before she said whatever it was and turned back around. He caught Magnus' eyes on him as soon as he turned, and he kept his focus there, staring right back for the whole trip, and it didn't seem to give him any trouble. He was still graceful and quiet, still avoided each shift in the crowd.

It was the hottest thing Magnus had ever seen.

Alexander stopped when he was only a half-a-step away, and Magnus could see the lift of his chest with each breath. 

"We could test out how sturdy the table is and see if anyone notices?" Magnus couldn't quite believe he'd said that out loud, but _damn,_ his flat was too far away.

Alexander smiled, slow and sure, and leaned down just a little. "Everyone would notice."

_Fuck._

Magnus managed a noise of some sort, close enough to agreement to do the job, and he reached his hand out only to find Alexander already reaching too, and the grip of his hand was already steadying, already familiar. 

They slipped outside, Alexander pulling Magnus through the crowd 'round the bar as smoothly as he'd made it through the dancers. Once they were a few steps past the door, almost back to the corner, he turned and looked back at Magnus.

"Not to be too impertinent," Alexander was smiling, clearly being just the right amount of impertinent. "But would you take me home with you?"

"I would be delighted." It was Magnus' turn to tug on their joined hands, back around the block, past their bus-stop and around the other way, heading towards Magnus' flat. "Though, I am curious, if there's a reason you couldn't take me home, and had to fish so presumptuously for an invitation?"

Alexander grinned at him, and Magnus almost stumbled. How did _everything_ just get _worse_ (better?) every time Magnus looked at him? It ought to be impossible.

"I rent a _room,_ and share a bathroom."

Magnus shuddered. "I do not miss student housing."

"Only five more weeks." Alexander swung his hand a little, a half a skip in his step, looking forward to the end of his year. 

"What would you have done if I had a roommate or something?" Magnus asked.

"We would have made that one room work if we had to." Alexander stopped walking, and leaned in until his mouth was _almost_ touching Magnus' lips. "We almost made do with the bus-stop after all."

Magnus flicked his tongue out against Alexander's lips, and the low grunt Alexander made was enough to make Magnus shiver, but he pulled back and started walking again instead of devouring him properly.

_Just a little longer._

"Though we would have had to make a stop on the way."

"Really?" Magnus glanced back over his shoulder at Alexander, whose half-a-smile was making lights dance in his eyes. "Why is that?"

"Because there are only two lonely condoms left in the bottom of my box."

Magnus knew exactly where he was going with that, but he couldn't stop himself from asking. "Only two?"

"We're going to need more than that, aren't we?" Alexander licked his _god-damned lips._

Magnus couldn't even groan, it came out half-strangled past the heat in his throat, and he stepped close enough to grab Alexander's shirt with his free hand and pull himself right up into Alexander's face. "Not if you keep distracting me before I get you home, we won't."

Alexander's eyes were stunning; it was hard to breathe this close to them. Alexander closed them, and kissed Magnus, but it was different than before, soft enough that Magnus' heart ached in between each beat. Alexander pulled back, his eyes still closed even as he spoke. "But I love the look on your face when I do."

_I think I love you, too._

Magnus almost said it, knew it was clear in his eyes, made himself stay there, made himself hold onto it as Alexander opened his eyes and looked at him. 

"Oh," Alexander exhaled, and his eyes were so dark, shining as light reflected off them, shining somewhere deep inside. " _Magnus._ "

They neither of them seemed to move first, but then they were already kissing, Magnus' hands gripping the back of Alexander's neck, dragging himself closer, Alexander's arms wrapped around Magnus' back, holding them tighter. There was a low rumble in Alexander's chest that Magnus could feel through his ribs, almost a growl, almost a purr, almost a moan, and every bit as desperate as Magnus felt. Magnus kissed him, _and kissed him,_ mouth wide and tongues deep. He didn't care when they bumped teeth because then he got to try again, _again,_ and he'd been hearing a soft high pitched keen for several moments before he realized he was the one making it. He was the one having trouble breathing, having trouble with anything that wasn't Alexander's _mouth_. He pushed up onto his toes, pushed down onto Alexander's shoulders, tried to kiss him harder, _more,_ Alexander's hands moving further down his back to brace him as he rose.

"God." Magnus shuddered. "I want to climb you and never come down." 

Alexander's low rumble lifted up into words. "What a good idea."

Magnus made himself lean back and away. "Then hurry up."

Alexander obliged, and took a few steps in the direction Magnus was leaning.

Magnus kissed him again, which was inevitable, fated, _stupid,_ and worth it for the dazed look on Alexander's face as he pulled back. 

Magnus just made a noise, he couldn't manage words again, he really couldn't, but he stumbled and Alexander followed and they managed a whole ten more steps before Alexander reeled him in and kissed him, smiling against Magnus' mouth the whole time.

Magnus laughed, and tugged on his hand, and they only got three steps that time before Magnus had to kiss the edge of Alexander's mouth, right where his smile was curving up.

Alexander shoved Magnus in front of him, and followed behind, and tried terribly unsuccessfully to glare every time Magnus glanced back, so by the time they made it to his building they were both laughing too hard to kiss anymore.

Magnus was almost laughing too hard to breathe. Which made getting up two flights of stairs difficult. Magnus had to stop on the landing, trying to catch his breath, and he was thoughtless enough to look at Alexander when he did; Alexander was still two steps further down, watching the lift of Magnus' chest and shoulders through his eyelashes and Magnus was just as desperate as he'd been at the bus stop, later on the sidewalk.

Alexander took one more step, and Magnus took a step backwards. If he let Alexander catch him he'd have to kiss him and if he kissed him again he wouldn't stop and if he didn't stop kissing him he was liable to do something severely inappropriate.

"I have a truly hideous and pleasantly gigantic fake-victorian claw-foot tub in my flat." Alexander stopped, and his nostrils flared, and his grip on the railing tightened until Magnus could see the tension in his knuckles. "If I get kicked out by my renter's association for lewd behavior in the stairwell, we will never get to fuck in it."

Alexander's eyes did a thing that was perilously close to lethal, dark and full and determined, and Magnus was breathless for brand new reasons.

He turned and almost _ran_ up the last half a staircase, down the hall to his door, and by the time he'd gotten his key to cooperate he could feel the heat of Alexander's body right behind him. 

Magnus managed maybe a single step inside before Alexander was with him and turning him around. His back hit the door and it closed with an uneven thud and click of the latch and there was _Alexander_ pressed against him, hands on his jaw holding him in place so he could kiss him.

Kissing Alexander was fantastic. He tried to follow Alexander's mouth with his own when Alexander pulled back, but then his mouth was on Magnus' jaw, and working back towards his neck, and that was _also fantastic._ Magnus groaned and let his head fall back against the door and tried to decide if it was too soon to stick his thigh between Alexander's legs. 

"I never want to stop touching you."

"Me neither," Alexander spoke against Magnus' throat, and his breath was so warm, so soft, Magnus had to close his eyes to survive it.

Or remember what he'd been trying to do a moment before. Door? Knob? Lock. It was very difficult to lock the door. His arm scrambled to his side, but Alexander's mouth was so much more interesting. It took Magnus three tries before his hand really cooperated, and Alexander had made it all the way down Magnus' neck to the edge of his cravat by the time Magnus got the bolt to turn. 

Alexander's thumb rubbed against Magnus' collarbone, and then he ducked down until Magnus could feel Alexander's breath against his Adam's apple, a brush of lips right where fabric met skin. He moved even further down, and there was a _tug,_ the cravat tightening just a little, and Magnus had to grab Alexander's shoulders to keep himself still. Alexander shifted over a little more, and this time when he tugged the fabric started to loosen, and Magnus' knees almost gave out on him.

Alexander's thigh pressed up between Magnus' legs, as if he'd felt the wobble. Magnus' hips jerked up in response, and Alexander's breath moved across Magnus' throat in a sharp gasp. And then he got back to work, the fabric of the cravat shifting, rubbing against Magnus' neck, back and forth, until at last it slithered free, and Alexander stood up straight with it held between his teeth. 

"Hhng?" Magnus' breath caught in his throat and a thing that he'd thought was going to be a word cracked up into something embarrassingly close to a squawk. It was apparently a good squawk though, because Alexander made a very similar sound behind the fabric in his mouth before he managed to turn his head and open his mouth and drop the cravat fall to the floor beside them. 

"I have wanted to do that since the moment I laid eyes on you." 

"Really?" Magnus' voice felt like it was rasping against his throat, and he saw Alexander swallow at the sound of it. Magnus rolled his hips, rubbing his cock against Alexander's thigh, and smiled as Alexander's hips thrust forward, one short sharp jerk. "What else have you wanted to do since you first laid eyes on me?"

"Suck your cock dry." Magnus' knees did the wobbly thing again, but this time he leaned into it, leaned forward, and managed to start Alexander stumbling further back into the apartment. 

"Same." Magnus agreed. He pushed back and away, giving them another few almost steady steps into the room, before pulling Alexander's head back to his for another kiss, and another, and they stumbled to a stop. "What else?"

"This." Alexander's hands grabbed Magnus' ass and pulled them closer together. His hips shifted until their cocks rubbed together, lined up almost perfectly. Alexander rolled his hips, and Magnus followed, and it was so good, even through his trousers and Alexander's jeans, hot and almost satisfying and a dangerous tease, all at once, so Magnus did it again. 

Alexander half-groaned, half-laughed, and shifted his grip to Magnus' hips to push them apart. "I am embarrassingly close to ruining my pants and I have nothing else to put on, so hold that thought?"

Magnus giggled,and clapped his hands over his mouth in surprise. _Grown men do not giggle._ Alexander's entire face lit up with delight at the sound, and that was nice. That was nice enough Magnus let his hands fall, and smiled back.

"Anything else?" Magnus raised one eyebrow, which from the little nod of his head Alexander quite enjoyed.

"Everything else," Alexander answered, his mouth close enough to kiss again, lips warm just a breath away from Magnus' face. "Whatever you want."

Magnus felt a lick of warmth down his spine and hummed appreciatively. "What a good answer."

Alexander's tongue slipped right between Magnus' lips, and they were kissing again, pressed together and barely breathing, and Magnus leaned hard into Alexander's chest to try and get him moving again. "Bedroom," Magnus gasped out when their lips lost contact, pushing on Alexander's shoulders. Which felt nice under his palms, even through the shirt, and once he and Alexander started moving he turned his attention to buttons. 

There were a lot of buttons. Way more than usual. He made an unhappy noise in the back of his throat as his fingers almost got caught in one. "What is wrong with your shirt?"

"I have no idea," Alexander breathed out. He then reached down, pushing Magnus' hands out of the way in the process, and pulled his shirt off over his head and tossed it on the floor. "Better?"

"God, yes." Magnus just stood there for a moment, admiring the view. "You're gorgeous."

Alexander _blushed,_ which made him look a rather unholy combination of adorable and even more fuckable than he had a minute ago. Magnus' whimper from earlier came back, tight in his throat. 

"Bedroom. Now." Magnus stomped, and shoved again, _with emphasis._ Alexander laughed, which was lovely enough Magnus was grinning by the time they got into the bedroom and he pushed Alexander onto his bed. "Much better."

Alexander sat up, shaking his head. He grabbed Magnus by the edges of his vest, and pulled him down onto the bed too. "Now it's better."

"Now it's the best."

Kissing without having to worry about hedges or standing or tripping over furniture was amazing. Magnus hadn't thought kissing Alexander could possibly improve, but it did, each kiss better than the last. Alexander's skin was hot and his hand was the perfect size to curve around the back of Magnus' neck and his lips were soft and every time his tongue moved, heat flickered down Magnus' spine. 

Alexander rolled Magnus onto his back, and Magnus' body curved up against Alexander with a groan. Alexander sat up, and Magnus had to blink a few times to bring his eyes back into focus. Alexander was kneeling upright, straddling Magnus' stomach, his breathing heavy enough Magnus could see his chest and shoulders lift.

"Guh?" Magnus asked. He knew there'd been a word in his brain at some point, but it didn't seem worth the effort to find it again. Words were not a priority.

"You never answered my question." Alexander's voice was lower and rougher than it had been a minute ago, and Magnus shivered. "What did you want when you first saw me?"

"Naked." Magnus swallowed. "Here. In the shower, the bath, maybe bent over the kitchen counter?"

Alexander made a noise that was very similar to Magnus' _guh,_ which was gratifying. "Then why are we still mostly dressed?"

"Kissing you is very distracting."

Alexander nodded in agreement, and then leaned forward, hands landing on the bed to either side of Magnus' head, bending down until he was close enough his eyes looked large and dark enough to drown in. "But if you were naked I could be kissing your cock."

"Or riding it."

Alexander whimpered this time. Magnus grinned at him, and reached for the front of his vest. Alexander rolled to the side, and kicked off his boots, and then it was a delighted scramble to find buttons and buckles and get rid of all their too many layers. 

With a slight detour when Alexander got Magnus' socks off. "Your toes match."

Magnus wiggled them. 

"Why is that so hot?"

"Because they match for you." Alexander was still kneeling by Magnus' feet, his thumb absently stroking along the line of Magnus' arch. Magnus lifted himself onto his elbows to look down at him. "They're the color you chose, in a place I hoped you and only you would see."

Alexander's lips parted, and he turned and started undoing Magnus' belt, staring Magnus in the eyes as he moved. "Condom."

Magnus could just reach the drawer by the bed, though it was difficult to focus with Alexander's eyes on him. Especially since he was doing that thing again, where he focused on Magnus but kept also doing something else, his hands steady as they worked Magnus' belt free and started on the button fly of his trousers.

When Alexander put his hand down Magnus' trousers, between Magnus' thighs, curling under Magnus' balls, Magnus dropped the condom on the bed. He closed his eyes and his head fell back and he groaned as his hips tilted, trying to push himself harder against Alexander's palm.

Magnus' hips jerked as Alexander freed his cock from his clothes, again at the sound of the condom package ripping, _again_ as he felt the condom unrolling down his cock.

"Someone's in a hur—" Magnus' words cut off with a moan, his hips lifting all the way off the bed as Alexander got most of Magnus' cock in his mouth with one duck of his head, and swallowed. Alexander pushed up hard with his tongue, and traced circles around the head of Magnus' cock, and went back down again. His hands settled on Magnus' hips, holding him down until all Magnus could do was rock slightly, up against Alexander's hands, into his mouth, as his tongue and his lips moved around Magnus' cock. Up and down, up and down, watching his cock moving between Alexander's lips. Magnus lost rhythm and shuddered when Alexander swallowed around him again, and _god,_ and he bucked up hard, the sharp flash of pleasure bright enough to break him into shards as he came.

Alexander held Magnus' cock gently between his lips until the last few unsteady lifts of Magnus' hips stopped, until Magnus realized he was still whole. He kissed Magnus' stomach, and then slid his hands beneath Magnus' waistband, around to Magnus' back, and slid Magnus' trousers and underwear off and tossed them onto the floor. 

Magnus hissed as he took off the condom and tossed it at the trash can beside the bed. He stretched his back and hummed. "I don't know if I should be embarrassed at how fast I fell apart, or compliment you outrageously."

Alexander breathed out a laugh at the tone of Magnus' voice, and climbed back up the bed until he was lying down next to Magnus. "I like compliments."

"That was the best blow job of my life." Magnus lifted a hand for emphasis, a flick of his fingers through the air. "Both because it was damn fine, and..." Magnus swallowed, and rolled onto his side to look at Alexander directly. "And because it was from you."

He could see the way Alexander's breath caught in his throat. Alexander moved closer, and Magnus closed his eyes when Alexander's lips touched his. He was so gentle, and Magnus felt the warmth of that kiss fill his chest, rise up through his throat until he thought it might overflow through his eyes, sweet and damp. 

"How are you real?" Magnus whispered when Alexander's mouth slid to the side, a brush of his lips moving against Magnus' jaw. "How is this so perfect?"

"I don't know." Alexander's voice shivered against Magnus' skin, his fingers trembled against Magnus' cheek. "But it is, isn't it?"

Magnus nodded. He didn't know how, or why, or what it meant, but it felt true. "I love you."

He felt Alexander's body still as he heard Magnus' words, felt Alexander's breath stutter against his skin. 

"I love you, too." Alexander's voice was rough and damp.

Magnus turned his head, seeking Alexander's mouth with his own, reaching his tongue out to find him sooner, to taste him faster. Alexander pushed closer, and Magnus clung to his shoulders as he kissed Alexander, as Alexander kissed him, messy and open mouthed with gasps of breath any moment when their mouths missed before they found each other again.

Magnus hooked his leg over Alexander's waist to pull him closer, and felt the rub of a belt under his calf. He made himself pull back, hands flat on Alexander's chest, though it took a breath and a half before he could open his eyes and talk. "You're still wearing _pants._ "

Alexander glanced down at himself as if he'd forgotten about that.

Magnus swallowed a snicker, and pushed Alexander onto his back. "Allow me."

Alexander smiled up at Magnus, as wide-eyed and dizzy and delighted as that first look back at the bus stop. His eyes closed as Magnus reached for his belt, and he lifted his hips to help Magnus slide off his jeans. 

Alexander's legs really did go on for-fucking-ever. 

"If I fold you in half and fuck you do you think you could get your legs over my shoulders and back around my neck?"

" _Magnus._ " Alexander pulled him closer with his hand around the back of Magnus' neck again, close enough for Magnus' forehead to rest against his. "Let's find out."

Magnus kissed him, his lips, his jaw, his neck. Magnus had a feeling he was always going to kiss Alexander if he was close enough. He kissed him until Alexander started nipping at his bottom lip, his hips shifting back and forth. 

"Oh look, you were right." Magnus smiled so close to Alexander's mouth he almost brushed against Alexander's lips. "We're already on condom number two."

Alexander's laugh stuttered into a groan as Magnus slowly unrolled a condom onto him, holding the bottom down, his fingers a tight circle around Alexander's cock until he stopped squirming.

Magnus grabbed the lube. One slick finger circled a few times before pushing inside Alexander. He curled his finger, and Alexander's eyes closed. He pushed a little more, watching Alexander as his fingers dragged across the sheets.

Alexander's entire body moved when Magnus slid a second finger inside him, a shiver all the way down those ridiculous arms and legs, curling his fingers and toes. He made such _beautiful_ noises, sharp and desperate, over and over in time with each twist of Magnus' fingers. 

Alexander whined as Magnus slid his fingers free. Magnus pulled himself back up the bed to kiss him again, to swallow every gasp and moan and fragment of a word from between Alexander's lips.

"Please." Alexander's hands kept moving, stroking up and down Magnus' arms, the back of his neck and across his shoulders. He hooked a leg behind Magnus' knee, shifted up until his thigh pressed against Magnus' hip. They weren't quite close enough to rub together, but when he circled his hips it teased, a series of glancing brushes, his cock against Magnus' hip, and thigh, and cock, each touch making Magnus shiver. 

"Please," Alexander said again, his hips rolling, a little closer, a little harder. His fingers dug into Magnus' arms, and Magnus ached so much it was hard to breathe.

"Anything." Magnus whispered back, his mouth almost touching Alexander's skin. He started again, one finger, two, lube warming against his fingers, inside Alexander's body. "Everything."

Magnus twisted three fingers inside him and Alexander shuddered. Magnus moved in closer, pressed a little harder, until Alexander was making those needy sharp edged noises again, was rocking his hips to meet each push of Magnus' hand, until Magnus was so hard again it was difficult to breathe.

"You're so beautiful," Magnus whispered. He turned his wrist, and Alexander's back curved, his chin lifted with a stuttering groan. "I'm going to wreck you."

"Already have." Alexander voice was faint and uneven, but Magnus heard it, felt it burning in his chest. 

"You have ruined me for anyone else." Magnus' voice wasn't any stronger.

"Good." Alexander said, a moan almost swallowing the word as Magnus spread his fingers apart. Alexander's body clenched around Magnus' knuckles, and Magnus' cock twitched in sympathy, in _want._ Alexander jerked, trying to follow Magnus' fingers as Magnus pulled his hand free. His hips kept moving, restless enough to make Magnus' body ache in sympathy for the few brief moments it took Magnus to prepare, condom and lube of his own.

Magnus spread Alexander's ass with his hands, dragged his cock up the cleft, down again, bit his bottom lip as he watched Alexander's cock twitch. Alexander's stomach clenched, and his skin flushed pink, and his voice broke as he said _please_ for a third time. 

Magnus could barely make his voice work, too much heat in his throat, his chest, but he remembered his promise, his goal. "Legs, if you please."

He could _see_ Alexander's eyes roll back at the rasp in his voice. He could feel a tremble in Alexander's body as his legs came to rest on Magnus' shoulders; Magnus felt that same tremble move down his own spine in echo. He turned his head to kiss the side of Alexander's calf. _He loves me_. 

Magnus moved forward. As the first hint of resistance gave, Magnus felt Alexander's body clench and then ease around the head of his cock, and Magnus' whole body shuddered. Alexander tilted his hips, something almost like a ragged sob coming out of his mouth as he pushed himself further on Magnus' cock. Magnus' hips thrust forward, almost entirely out of his control, and they both cried out, voices rising and twisting around them. 

Magnus leaned into Alexander's thighs, pushing himself deeper. Alexander shifted around him, gripped him hotter, tighter. Magnus couldn't feel his heartbeat in his chest, but he could feel it throbbing in his cock, could feel the rhythm of it pushing against Alexander's body. 

_Magnus._ He could see Alexander's mouth shape his name, but he couldn't hear it. He needed to hear it. Needed to hear him. 

He made himself move, and watched Alexander _._ Watched the flush beneath his skin and the breath in his throat and the curl of his fingers into Magnus' sheets. Watched his body react to each short, sharp thrust, tension across his stomach, lifting his chin, closing his eyes. Magnus could see Alexander jerk from each impact, could see his body take it, _take him,_ which drove Magnus harder, _harder._

He could hear the slap of their skin, could feel his body curving closer, could see Alexander's cock, hard and swollen, dragging across his stomach, back and forth. He felt Alexander's heel dig in just next to his spine, felt him _push,_ watched him lift his head at the same time, felt the way his body somehow tightened even more around Magnus' cock as they moved closer together.

It was the messiest, most awkward, best kiss of his _life,_ barely close enough to reach, a curl of their tongues before Magnus gasped and whined and dug his fingers too hard into Alexander's hips to hold himself up, a brush of lips for half a second before Alexander bucked with a groan and they lost contact. They kept pushing, and his hips kept moving, and their lips kept teasing, and Magnus could feel how close Alexander was, could feel the tension building around him, could feel it in Alexander's ass, in his stomach, in the legs bracketing his neck, pushing against his shoulders. 

Magnus made himself lean back, just until there was enough room he could get his hand between them, could wrap his fingers around Alexander's cock. 

"Magnus!" Alexander shouted this time, and Magnus thrust harder, pushing Alexander up, up into his hand, fucking inside him, fucking him with his cock and his hand until Alexander's back arched and his voice broke and his body clenched and _god, oh god,_ Magnus couldn't breathe, couldn't move, couldn't see, and everything stuttered, uneven and hot and perfect as he came apart again. 

It took a while to come down again, to throw out condoms and balance the boneless desire to sprawl with the heart-deep ache for contact, but they ended up lying side-by-side facing each other again, legs tangled beneath a crooked blanket. 

Magnus couldn't stop looking at Alexander's eyes, his lips, the line of his throat when he swallowed.

Couldn't stop thinking about seeing him like this _forever._

He cleared his throat.

Alexander smiled, slow and warm, and lifted his eyebrows. And waited.

Magnus was terrible at waiting. He should, for this, but he wasn't even going to try. "Post-orgasmic bliss is probably not when I should bring this back up."

Alexander grinned. "I'm not sure I'll be down from this for at least a week, _bliss_ is unavoidable."

Magnus swallowed a snort. Not that he disagreed, honestly, but who _says that?_ "I'm trying to be serious."

"I am entirely serious." Alexander's voice was steady, and his eyes didn't flicker away for even a moment.

A laugh caught against a lift of soft warmth in Magnus' chest, enough he can't tell if he wanted more to free that laugh or start to cry. _How is this real?_

They neither of them knew the answer to that.

"Did you mean it?" Magnus was not as steady, and couldn't stop his eyes from dropping, his voice from fading.

"I've meant everything I've said to you."

The warmth cracked in his throat, and Magnus was afraid he was falling closer to crying. _How are you real?_

"Magnus?" Alexander's voice wavered this time, and his palm rested against Magnus' cheek. "What did I say? I'm sorry, I didn't—"

Magnus shook his head, lifted a hand to press a finger to Alexander's mouth. "Never apologize."

Alexander pursed his lips, and kissed the tip of Magnus' finger. "Well, that's never going to happen. Sorry."

Magnus rolled his eyes, but he was smiling, could feel the heat behind his eyes and in his throat settle. "You're terrible."

"And you love me." Alexander's voice was soft, and Magnus could hear an echo of the same wonder he heard in Alexander's voice settle somewhere between his lungs, behind his heart. 

"You asked me to marry you."

"I meant it." Alexander's shoulders shifted against the bed, a hint of a blush on his cheeks "Did you mean it when you said yes?"

"I said ok." Magnus sniffed, because apparently even when he couldn't decide if he wanted to laugh or cry or scream or kiss Alexander again he was still occasionally a pedantic asshole. "And yes I meant it too."

Alexander's entire face lit up, and it was stunning, he was stunning, and Magnus had to kiss him again. Alexander sighed into Magnus' mouth, wrapped him up in his arms and legs, and kissed him back.

"Is this crazy?" Magnus whispered against Alexander's mouth "Is there something wrong with us?"

"Probably." Alexander whispered back. "But we're wrong together so it's all right."

Magnus had to swallow. "However do you keep managing to say things like that?"

"I keep looking at you."

"Oh my _god,_ Alexander." Magnus pressed their lips together as hard as he could, pulled back with an audible _smack._ "You're ridiculous. I love you."

"That's a good trait in a fiancé." Alexander was grinning again, wide and delighted. "I love you, too."

"Is this a secret engagement, or are we going to tell everyone?"

Alexander hummed, and rubbed his nose against Magnus' as he thought. "Maybe not right away? We might give the hedge a communal heart-attack, which would be messy."

Magnus giggled again, and couldn't even pretend to be embarrassed, not when he could feel Alexander's smile.

"That is entirely my new favorite noise, how do I make it happen again?"

"I have no idea, it's never really happened before."

"Really?" Alexander pushed himself back, eyes wide as he stared at Magnus. "Really, really?"

"Stop it, you." Magnus couldn't stop _smiling_ ;he had no idea what his face was doing. He suspected that if it was doing it in front of anyone besides Alexander it would be mortifying.

"Never."

"Good." Magnus sighed, and leaned close enough to tuck his head against Alexander's shoulder. 

"It is, isn't it?" Alexander's arms shifted until he got a hand free enough to run his fingers through Magnus' hair. "Everything is good."

Magnus closed his eyes, and listened to Alexander breathing, shifted even closer until he could feel Alexander's heartbeat under his head. Everything was perfect.

Alexander's chin moved against Magnus' temple as he spoke. "I have a question for you, now."

_Hmm?_ Magnus hummed his encouragement.

"Would you say that was _oh no, he's hot_ sex, or _I love you_ sex, or _congratulations on the engagement_ sex?"

Magnus felt a tumble of different possible questions get tangled up somewhere behind his tongue, and pushed himself back to look at Alexander's face directly. Alexander smiled at him, his lips parted and his eyes dark, and Magnus swallowed.

Magnus managed a noise, at least, to express the _what?_ he hadn't managed to say.

Alexander just lifted his eyebrows and waited. 

"I think?" Magnus coughed, trying to get his brain and his words to cooperate despite the heat starting to flicker back to life inside him. "I think that I owe you an _oh no he's hot_ blowjob, but I know that you and your cock love me and my cock."

"We do, indeed." Alexander agreed. The smile in his eyes was soft and sweet and hot, all at once. "But that means we still need to celebrate our engagement."

"Does it now?" The flicker grew a little stronger, a little steadier. "Did you have something in particular in mind?"

"I think you should show me that bathtub of yours."

"Oh, that's a wonderful idea. My fiancé is so _clever._ " Magnus grabbed the box of condoms, and made sure as much of his body as possible dragged across Alexander's skin as he rolled over him and then off the far side of the bed. "This way, gorgeous."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [[tumblr](http://faejilly.tumblr.com/post/174408638738)]

[jace] last night huh

[simon] yeah, did you see they left hand in hand?

[simon] I hadn't even finished my first set. 

[simon] did we know Alec moved that fast? I did not know Alec moved fast

[maia] not sure I've ever seen Alec move at all

[maia] minus that one time

[simon] when we all learned he'd probably never had trouble picking a guy up in his life?

[maia] that and he likely has a really successful sex life that I do not want to know anything about

[jace] I can never decide if I'm glad I missed that or not

[izzy] how did you miss that?

[clary] blonde bartender I think?

[jace] well it's not like I knew my brother was going to put on a show so I should flirt later

[lydia] he's done it more than once. I still can't believe none of you knew

[clary] he does not go bar-hopping or clubbing or date-night anything with us

[izzy] or if he does he's all in big-brother mode, which isn't apparently compatible

[maia] shame. I'd love to see Bat's face at THM, you know?

[clary] anyways! 

[clary] Actual question. Do you think Alec's gonna remember the book signing this afternoon?

[izzy] I'm not sure he's going to be able to _walk,_ are you?

[jace] you know Alec doesn't talk about his sex life

[jace] stop

[izzy] never

[clary] that's what they said?

[jace] not you too!

[simon] pretty sure it's everyone except you

[simon] they looked good together

[maia] can't argue with that

[jace] I could try?

[clary] aren't you happy for him? I've never seen him like that

[jace] well. Yeah. Of course

[jace] but I didn't even know he was seeing anyone and then 

[jace] They were intense

[izzy] he wasn't seeing anyone

[jace] what?

[izzy] that was their first date

[clary] that's impossible, did you see them? 

[lydia] really? Because they were. I saw them on my way in and that was not. Nevermind.

[maia] you cannot start a sentence like that and just stop

[lydia] I saw a bit of the lipgloss transfer and that's all you're getting

[simon] in the street outside you mean? That is also. Alec has hidden depths guys, how did I not know any of this about him

[simon] did all of you know any of this about him and I'm just the really unobservant one?

[maia] not just you, babe

[clary] c'mon Izzy. Magnus came in to look for that first book awhile ago and you should have heard the way he said Alec's name

[jace] plus last night they were all? You know.

[maia] the word you want is eye-fucking

[jace] that was not at all the word I wanted

[jace] you're not wrong, though

[simon] Maia's almost never wrong, you should be used to that

[clary] you're biased, Simon

[simon] but also not wrong!

[clary] true. Love you, Maia

[maia] you are all ridiculous

[lydia] including Alec. I don't know why it's such a surprise. You're all alike, you Lightwoods. Very dramatic.

[jace] hey

[maia] and that's the most Not Wrong thing anyone has said so far today

[clary] I'm included in that aren't I?

[simon] pretty sure we both are at this point

[clary] we're a weird family, aren't we

[maia] and yet Lydia and I hang around with you voluntarily

[lydia] that may say more about us than them, huh?

[maia] maybe

[lydia] good thing they're cute

[izzy] we're gorgeous, not just cute

[lydia] and incredibly overwhelming

[lydia] not first-date material at all

[maia] and yet another good point. We're rocking it today.

[izzy] I'm serious though!

[izzy] Alec was worried about his first impression

[izzy] he voluntarily asked me for advice on what to wear

[clary] wow

[lydia] it's the end times

[jace] damn

[jace] that's worse though

[jace] he doesn't even really know the guy?

[jace] none of us know anything about him

[clary] come on Jace, you saw the way Magnus looked at Alec. don't you want that for him?

[simon] not just the eye-fucking even

[maia] I don't think that's helping, Simon

[izzy] you've got to trust his judgment Jace, it's his life

[izzy] everyone's allowed one grand romance, aren't they?

[jace] I want to say no

[jace] it's so impulsive

[jace] we're not good at impulsive

[lydia] despite all the practice?

[maia] lydia: 4 lightwoods: 0

[jace] I'm serious. what if it goes wrong?

[lydia] it's worth it before-hand

[jace] fuck. Lydia, I'm sorry

[lydia] it's all right. But I wouldn't give up a single day we had, even knowing how it ended

[lydia] and I'm not about to take that choice away from Alec, either

[jace] well. Way to be fucking reasonable and make me feel like an asshole

[izzy] you're always an asshole Jace, it's part of your charm

[jace] shut up

[izzy] never. I love you.

[jace] love you, too

[lydia] and peace is restored to the Lightwood clan

[clary] but seriously guys

[clary] should I call him about the book signing? Because if he forgets 

[simon] or can't walk

[clary] shush. If he's not there I've got to find someone else to help

[simon] I'm free this afternoon, Fray. I'll help. And if he does show, hey, then we can both ask him how the rest of his date went, and report back on how much he blushes.

[izzy] I want pictures of his face during that conversation

[maia] no. we'll be working. It is our JOB. 

[simon] not my job, I'm a volunteer. I'll get 'em for you. Don't worry.

[izzy] you're the best

[simon] thanks. We're a really good, weird family, I think. 

[clary] yeah, we're pretty cool

[lydia] and so humble

[izzy] you love us though

[lydia] must be something wrong with me

[jace] that's why you fit in so well

[lydia] I cannot decide if that's a compliment or not

[maia] pretend it is. It's the only way to survive

[izzy] hey, Jace

[jace] what?

[izzy] did you start a new text chain today, or is this the regular one?

[jace] shit

[maia] what? 

[maia] Oh

[clary] guess I don't need to call Alec

[simon] he's gonna see all of this isn't he

[lydia] kind of surprised he hasn't already

[izzy] I'm not. You guys didn't see his face when they were leaving. 

[izzy] they're probably still sleeping off last night. Or starting off the morning again.

[maia] and that may be even more not wrong than the rest of it. Sorry Lydia, you've lost your title

[lydia] somehow I'll just have to try and live with the crushing disappointment

* * *

[cat] did Magnus talk to either of you about brunch today?

[raphael] no

[ragnor] why?

[cat] he had a date last night

[ragnor] he goes out almost every weekend unless he's got a show. That has never impeded the making of mimosas.

[cat] not just he was going to go out, he had a DATE

[cat] the kind you check your condom supply for because you're hoping to bring him home kind of date

[raphael] he's not celibate. That has never gotten in the way of waffles either

[cat] he asked me for advice on what to wear

[cat] because he was nervous about *meeting a boy*

[ragnor] oh

[raphael] you live in scrubs

[raphael] you don't even know the difference between gucci and tom ford

[raphael] I think I'm offended

[cat] he needed someone to hold his hand not insult his shoes

[raphael] Magnus has excellent taste in footwear, I have never once insulted his shoes

[ragnor] well. There was that one time...

[raphael] that does not count.

[cat] and is not the point

[ragnor] Magnus is never worried about how he presents himself

[cat] unless he's already invested, yes

[raphael] you said he was meeting him though? If he didn't know him, how is he already in trouble?

[cat] it's that email thing

[raphael] oh. He's been grinning at his phone like a lunatic all week over that.

[ragnor] what email thing?

[cat] your email thing actually

[cat] something about sending you a note and it got misrouted, and then they were talking about spy movies and the boy's ridiculous family

[cat] his date involved a surreal number of siblings, too

[raphae] on a first date? That's. Something.

[cat] exactly

[cat] it didn't make much sense, even for a Magnus adventure

[cat] it apparently started with a lost book?

[ragnor] a book?

[ragnor] a book!

[ragnor] That explains why I got a different Marlowe back without any explanation.

[ragnor] email though?

[ragnor] oh. 

[ragnor] Magnus went on a date with Alec Lightwood?

[ragnor] well

[ragnor] that's interesting

[raphael] I have no idea what just happened

[cat] me neither

[raphael] how did any of that make sense, Ragnor?

[cat] who is Alec Lightwood?

[ragnor] we can ask Magnus all about it at brunch

[ragnor] and if Mr. Lightwood's still there you'll see what I mean.

[cat] you think he will be? Maybe we shouldn't go if...

[raphael] I think that's an excellent reason to go

[raphael] think about the last time Magnus got invested

[ragnor] I don't believe we have to worry about that.

[raphael] why not?

[cat] you're usually more worried about Magnus than anyone, even if you don't say anything

[ragnor] I don't think I want to spoil it. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> holy shit I'm so sorry for disappearing for almost a year, like. Brains are dumb? Life is weird? Adulting is hard.
> 
> Anyways! I'm going to attempt to post every Fri from now on, but hey, I disappeared for like ten months so obviously take this prediction with a grain of salt. I will try though, I promise. 
> 
> Feel free to yell or ask impertinent questions over on twitter, because apparently that's a thing now. @faejilly #jillyfae #iamforyoufic
> 
> CW: there is serious conversation here, in the middle of the usual fluff & sap, so references to the usual backstory issues: suicide, abuse, rape. Nothing overt or explicit though.

Alec couldn't remember the last time he'd actually felt _rested._ Twenty years? Maybe? Until now. 

Magnus' breath moved softly against his neck, Magnus' chest was warm against his back, Magnus' arm was draped over his side. Alec was hugging a pillow in a _silk_ pillowcase, and when his legs shifted he could feel a pleasant tug through his whole body, tired muscles and a very good sore.

He was never getting out of this bed.

Never _ever_.

The proctor for the Bar could come here and glare at him from the bedroom doorway as he took his test surrounded by beautiful pillows.

It was a great plan. No possible flaws. 

Alec felt Magnus shift behind him, and smiled at the feel of his nose rubbing against Alec's spine as he woke up. Magnus' arm squeezed in a half a sleepy hug, and then relaxed again as he stretched.

"G'morning?" Magnus' words were slow, his voice rough against Alec's skin. 

"Barely." Alec rolled slowly onto his back, careful not to dislodge Magnus' arm. The light through the curtains was dim and grey, hardly light at all. "Why are you awake?"

"Why are you?" Magnus countered, and Alec turned his head to look at him. Magnus was quite unfairly gorgeous, especially all mussed up and warm with sleepily blinking eyes. That deserved a kiss. Alec rolled the rest of the way onto his other side and moved in as close as he could, close enough to press their lips together, just for a moment. 

"I'm too happy to sleep."

Magnus made a pleased little humming sound, and kissed the tip of Alec's nose. "When you're happy, I'm happy. Must be what woke me up, too."

"Should I apologize for that?" Alec yawned, and blinked as Magnus laughed. 

"Never."

"Ok." Alec shifted his weight until his forehead rested against Magnus', and closed his eyes with a sigh. Magnus was so _warm,_ a brush of skin against his forehead, breath against his face, the clean line of his shin just past Alec's toes. "Best morning ever."

"What time is it, do you think?" Magnus asked. Alec could hear the shift of skin against silken sheets as Magnus' shoulders moved a little against the bed. 

"Don't care." 

Magnus poked him in the shoulder. "You will, eventually."

"It's Sunday. No one has classes on Sunday morning."

"Oh, my poor, sweet, summer, child." The amusement in Magnus' voice was irresistible, so Alec didn't even try, and opened his eyes to look at his smile. "You're a part of the theatre now. The theatre cares not for class times or sleep schedules or sometimes even the laws of physics." His eyebrow lifted at that last one, and Alec was caught between a snicker of laughter and a sigh of appreciation at the way Magnus' face _moved._ "More importantly right now, I have a standing Sunday Brunch date, and there will be three people walking through my front door later this morning. Which is better than usual actually, next week Tessa and Dot will be back from their convention and we'll be back to five."

Alec filed their names away to ask about later and reached out to hold Magnus' hand, smiling at how familiar it felt already, the shape of his fingers and the catch of skin against skin. "Do you want me to stay?"

"Of course."

Alec tugged gently on Magnus' hand, leaned in and whispered. "And come back again next week?"

"Every week you can." 

Alec had to kiss him for that, quick and bright as he thought about weeks and weeks and weeks of _this_. "Tell me about brunch?"

"Well. Mimosas and pastries. Or omelettes. Or whatever." Magnus shrugged, lifted his free hand, a shift of fingers through the air echoing the movement of his shoulders. "You know Ragnor."

"That won't be at all weird or awkward or anything."

"We'll make sure you're wearing trousers at that point." Magnus winked.

"Hmm." Alec ran his foot up the side of Magnus' bare leg, his smile widening as Magnus' eyes closed with a sigh. "Do I have to?"

"It is indeed a tragedy, but I feel it is a necessary one."

Alec snorted. 

Magnus opened his eyes. "I promise to take them off you again later?"

"If you put it that way." 

"I do." Magnus hooked a leg over Alec's, his heel pressing gently against the back of Alec's calf. "But not quite yet. We have time."

"The rest of our lives." Alec whispered. Magnus blushed, and Alec kissed him, soft and slow.

Magnus was smiling as Alec settled back onto his pillow, and they just lay there for a moment, looking at each other in the cool pre-dawn light. 

"So. Professor Fell, who I'm going to have to somehow address by his first name at some point?"

Magnus rolled his eyes, and Alec grinned. 

"That might be a good idea, yes. It would be very strange if you were still calling him _Professor_ at our wedding." Magnus' smile softened by the time he got to the end of his sentence. " _Our wedding._ "

Alec had to blink past the heat in his eyes. "This morning just keeps getting better."

Magnus nodded in agreement. "And later there will be waffles!"

"And two more people! Who have names?"

Magnus poked Alec's shoulder again. "Of course they do."

"Are you going to tell them to me?" Alec lifted his eyebrows and tried not to smile.

"Maybe not, if you're going to be all snarky about it." Magnus was much better at not smiling, but his eyes were still too bright to hide his amusement.

Alec gasped. "You don't like it when I'm snarky?"

"I like everything about you." Magnus' smile was soft and open again, his fingers stroking Alec's hand.

"I love you." Alec was never going to get tired of saying that. 

Magnus clicked his tongue. "Oh, liking everything about you wasn't good enough, you had to go and upstage me?" 

Alec shook his head. "I like everything about you, too?" 

Magnus giggled. Alec loved that sound. "We're ridiculous."

"It's nice, isn't it?" Alec asked.

"It is." Magnus sighed in agreement.

"And?"

"Catarina and Raphael." Alec was pretty sure Magnus was considering rude gestures. The way he'd scrunched his face as he spoke was _adorable._ "You're so impatient."

"Only because I want to know everything about you."

The noise Magnus made was too soft to properly interpret, but he leaned in and pressed his forehead to Alec's shoulder, kissed the edge of his collarbone; it was clearly a good noise. 

"Cat's a nurse. She and I were in the same freshman orientation thing our high-school did. Raphael and I met a couple years later. In detention, actually." 

Alec lifted his hand, let his fingers trail against the nape of Magnus' neck. "Were you terrible trouble-makers?"

Magnus went still. He'd only been moving a little, the lift of his breath and adjusting shoulders, but it was obvious when he stopped. Alec's fingers moved up from the knob of Magnus' spine, down from his hairline and back again.

"Raphael had gotten into a fight protecting his little sister." 

"My kind of guy." Alec kept his voice as soft and steady as he could. "And you?"

Magnus didn't say anything right away, was quiet enough Alec almost couldn't feel Magnus' breath against his shoulder. Alec kept his hands moving, kept his breath even, kept waiting.

"My foster home at the time wasn't really conducive to doing homework. Or changing for gym where someone might see me."

"Oh, Magnus." Alec couldn't stop the sharp-edged pain in his chest from pushing him into movement. He wrapped himself around Magnus as much as he could, closed his eyes to hold in the urge to cry. "I'm sorry."

Magnus finally exhaled properly, his breath shuddering against Alec's neck as he lifted his head. "It's alright. It was a long time ago."

"That sort of thing is never alright." Alec hugged Magnus tighter. "But I'm glad it got better."

Magnus squirmed back until Alec loosened his grip; Magnus lifted his hand, his fingertips gentle as they touched Alec's temples. Alec couldn't quite read the expression in his eyes, shadows shifting beneath affection and surprise and warmth. "Better than better. Today, I dare say, is perfect."

Alec felt the blush on his cheeks, the damp in his eyes, the heat he had to swallow down his throat before he could move. 

Kissing Magnus was different this time, harder, easier. Alec pushed himself as close to Magnus as he could, put as much of himself into it as he could, every beat of his heart, every thought in his head, _never again, no one will hurt you, I'll protect you. I love you. Forever._

"We're brushing against the edges of that long story, aren't we?" Alec heard himself ask before he'd really thought about what he was going to say. He felt Magnus go taut, and he smoothed a hand slowly down the long line of Magnus' body, trying to ease some of the tension away. "I don't mean to push, it was just an observation."

"I suppose we are." 

Magnus' shoulders were still visibly tight, and Alec's fingers curled into Magnus' side as he tried to decide how to respond. "You don't have to say anything you're not ready to say, you know that, right?"

Magnus still didn't relax. "What if I'm never ready?"

"Then you never have to say it." Alec sighed as Magnus' eyes closed and his shoulders finally sagged. "But I'll always want to listen to anything you're thinking."

"Anything?" Magnus opened his eyes and waggled his eyebrows in a frankly ludicrous manner.

Alec snorted and almost made himself cough. "That was the only thing I've ever seen you do that wasn't unbearably sexy."

"Are you saying my eyebrows aren't sexy?" Magnus lifted himself up onto his elbow just high enough to look down his nose in fake offense.

"Of course not." Alec grinned. "They're just a _manageable_ amount of sexy. I can still breathe and everything."

That complicated surprise was back in Magnus' expression for just a moment, and then he leaned closer, _closer,_ close enough Alec could feel Magnus' breath against his mouth. "Breathing's nice, isn't it?"

"Sometimes it's over-rated," Alec answered and lifted his chin just enough their lips met. Alec's chest ached, heavy and sweet with the recognition of the change, the line through his life, _before Magnus_ and _after Magnus._

Magnus was right. Today was perfect. 

"You're perfect," Alec whispered against Magnus' mouth. 

Magnus pulled back, shaking his head, but Alec followed, pressed another kiss to the corner of his mouth, his cheek, the line of his jaw, right below his ear. "I'm just going to keep saying it until you believe me."

Magnus sputtered out a laugh, a sigh, and kissed Alec just off the center of his eyebrow, finding the faint reminder of a scar. "You're too good for me."

"Impossible." Complimenting Magnus was Alec's new favorite past-time; it was so much easier than most anything else he'd tried to do in his life. "You deserve the world." Magnus groaned. He sounded half-pleased, half-embarrassed, and Alec swallowed a sigh. "Why does no one ever believe me?"

"I believe that you believe you?" Magnus smiled as Alec rolled his eyes. "Who else never believes you?"

"Everyone. Not without cause, I suppose."

Magnus just lifted his eyebrows in question, and Alec rolled onto his back with a sigh, arms spread across the bed.

"It's... some of my long story isn't actually my story?"

"You don't have to either—"

"No, I can. Sort of? I want to. Give me a sec."

"Of course." Magnus moved closer, careful not to get caught on Alec's elbow. 

"I mentioned that Jace is adopted, right?"

Magnus nodded. "Well, you mentioned _one_ of your brothers, and I doubt you meant Simon?"

Alec snorted, and shook his head, and closed his eyes to hold in the burn of tears. "You know exactly how to hit the heart of a difficult conversation, don't you?"

Magnus wrapped an arm around Alec's stomach, pressed himself against Alec's side and turned his head until his face was hidden against Alec's chest, his voice muffled as he spoke. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Alec brushed his lips against the top of Magnus' head. "I'm gonna. Rearrange though?"

Magnus tilted his chin, his words clearer this time as he settled into place, his head on Alec's shoulder, clearly prepared to wait as long as necessary. "Take your time." 

Alec hummed, and breathed, and didn't think at all about anything for a moment, nothing except the warmth of Magnus against his side, the still lingering scent of his shampoo from last night. He thought about nothing, until he couldn't anymore, and he knew where to start.

"Most of the hedge could have easily ended up in the system. Clary's Mom changed their name to get away from her ex, Simon's Mom almost got lost in the bottom of a bottle, Maia's parents never even filed a missing person's report when she ran away... and I'm glad none of them ended up there. But my youngest brother, Max. He didn't and I almost, _almost_ wish he had. Because then at least I might be able to see him."

Magnus inhaled, sharp and loud in the quiet of the room, but he didn't say anything, just waited.

"After I finished my last final in high school I packed myself a duffle, just in case, and then went to tell my parents I was gay."

Magnus' fingers curled, catching on Alec's chest hair, and Alec made himself inhale, exhale, inhale, slow and steady.

"My mother refused to let me finish more than a sentence, argued that I couldn't be, that I had no right to choose something so difficult for our family, that it was just a phase, that I should _stop._ "

The soft catch of air in Magnus' throat was oddly soothing, a recognition of how cruel that had been, how devastating it had felt. Alec squeezed his arm around Magnus' shoulders, and let himself breathe for a moment or two.

"Robert, my father, just looked at me, just watched until my mother threw her hands in the air and stalked out of the room, incoherent with what she seemed to think was _my_ betrayal of _them_."

Alec could feel Magnus' frown, could feel him trying to connect this story with the easiness with which he'd mentioned his mother earlier, the complete lack of his father in any other context, the careful way Alec had addressed him by name.

"Once she was gone, Robert told me to leave, told me not to come back, told me to stay away from my siblings, especially Max."

Magnus' head turned, pushing into Alec's side, and his arm tightened, squeezing hard enough it was hard to breathe. 

"The worst part was _how_ he said it." Alec swallowed. "Perfectly calm and matter-of-fact, as if it was so _obvious_ that I would leave, that he knew I would understand how inappropriate it was for me to stay, how that could harm our family's _image,_ would be bad for his career _._ That I should know that this wasn't my home, not anymore, that everything I was "choosing" to be was _wrong._ That of course I knew that my influence was dangerous, that I couldn't expect to be permitted to stay around _children._ "

Alec had to stop, had to swallow. He knew Robert was wrong, on so many levels, but it still hurt. He knew it always would. He could feel a tremble of sorts in Magnus' body beside him, though he couldn't tell exactly what it was. He wasn't sure Magnus knew what it was, judging from the stutter of his breath, the tightness of his grip; too many emotions at once, perhaps, rage and grief and compassion. 

"I walked out the door, just like he wanted. I didn't even go back to my room for my bag. I'd thought I'd prepared myself, but I couldn't have, not really, not for that." 

Alec couldn't keep going. He had thought he was ready, _wanted_ to be ready to tell Magnus anything and everything, but his words got caught. He coughed, swallowed, coughed again until he'd knocked something free. "I wandered for awhile. Eventually ended up on the roof of Mom's office building. There wasn't supposed to be public access, but we'd figured out a way years ago, waiting around after hours."

Alec stopped, shook his head a little. He wrapped a hand around Magnus' and squeezed, letting him know he was still working on it before Magnus could interrupt. He wasn't sure he'd manage to start again, if he stopped. 

"I sat right on the edge, leaned almost too far over, wondered if it was high enough..." 

He trailed off. Before he could apologize for stopping, or cough himself back into talking, Magnus was there, hovering above him, hands hot against Alec's cheeks as he pressed their lips together.

Alec gave up on words for just a moment, gave up on anything except relief, the heat of Magnus' lips and breath, the taste of salt caught between them. 

"I'm sorry," Magnus whispered between kisses, "I'm so glad you didn't, so glad you're still here." 

Alec kissed back, let Magnus' words wash over him for as long as Magnus needed to say them, for as long as he needed to hear them. _I love you, too._

"Mom showed up before I... and I couldn't, not while she was staring right at me. But I couldn't _not_ , either, I couldn't make myself get back on the roof by myself. She approached so slowly, so carefully. I almost couldn't tell she was moving closer until she was right there, close enough to touch."

Close enough to grab, close enough Alec had known that if he went she'd try to catch him, and he'd probably take her down, too. So he had let her pull him back instead.

"Mom hugged me, wouldn't let go. Apologized, then drove all the way out here without stopping to check me in to Alicante General. Took the full 72 hours before she came back, told me we were living here now, Jace and Izzy too, but not Max. Robert wouldn't let him go, and she couldn't—."

"Oh, Alexander." Magnus gripped him tight. Alec tucked his head into the curve of Magnus' neck, let himself relax into Magnus' hold. He felt some impossible weight give way, a tension between his shoulders he only recognized now in its absence.

"We got me shifted to outpatient. Group therapy, medication... everything." Alec counted his breaths like he'd been taught. "Everyone ended up needing help with it all. It broke Izzy's heart, not just me, not just losing Max, but that Robert hadn't put up a fight to keep her too, even though they'd always been so close. I knew it was because of me, that he knew she'd never forgive him for what he'd said, but she... he didn't even _try_." 

Izzy'd never told Alec exactly what she'd used trying to self-medicate the year after they moved, and they'd all been messed up enough it took them way too long to even realize she was on anything at all... but she'd gotten through that too, better than he ever could have.

"We lost our little brother because of me, because I couldn't—"

"No." Magnus interrupted, and Alec shook his head, hard enough Magnus stopped.

"I know it's not my _fault,_ that Robert made his choices, drove us away, but I was his excuse, and my family had to leave Max behind to protect me, and it's not alright and it never will be."

The silence hung heavy between them, but it wasn't uncomfortable, just full. Magnus rubbed his hand up and down Alec's back until Alec managed to settle his breathing again.

"But it will get better, because in five weeks we're all going to his high school graduation and bringing him home."

Alec could feel Magnus' smile, could almost hear it as the air lightened around them. He let himself relax into that smile, into Magnus' arms, into the love he could feel between, strong and steady as family even though it was new.

"I want to tell you something." Magnus' voice was soft, clear and steady enough to pull Alec back from his wandering thoughts. "It's not a nice something."

Alec nodded. He didn't say anything, didn't push himself out of Magnus' hold. He had a feeling this was going to be easier on both of them like this, wrapped around each other without having to meet each others' eyes.

"I ended up in the system because my mother killed herself."

Alec choked, dug his fingers into Magnus, probably too hard, and held on.

"I'd always known she'd loved me, but she was so tired all the time, so alone and isolated, and sometimes she couldn't seem to look at me, would flinch when I met her eyes. I found out, after—"

Magnus stuttered to a stop, and Alec kissed his neck, rubbed gently with his thumbs, back and forth. 

"She was raped. And then pregnant. And she loved me, she did, but I," Magnus swallowed so hard that Alec could feel it. 

Alec had a feeling he knew where this was going. He lifted his head, lifted his hands until he could hold Magnus' jaw between them, could look him in the eye, soft and gentle, could tell him the truth and hope he believed it. "You're nothing like him."

Magnus' eyes were too bright, his lashes damp. "But I look like him, just enough she couldn't ever..." 

"We can't help who we look like." Alec kissed the tip of Magnus' nose. "Max looks just like Robert but I'd give anything to see him smile. Jace looks nothing like me or Izzy or Mom, but he's still my brother and I love his dumb ass, and I always will."

Magnus huffed out a breath, sounding half caught between a laugh and a sob. "Why did that help?"

"No idea, but I'm glad it did." Magnus' sigh sounded much closer to laughter this time, and Alec smiled as he pulled him into a hug. "And just so you know, since you're family now you may _also_ call Jace a dumb-ass, but no one else gets to."

Magnus' laugh still sounded weak and caught in his throat, but he was smiling. Magnus mouthed the word _family_ at him, as if he couldn't bear to say it out loud. There were still at least five different layers of shadows in his eyes, but his expression was soft, and his smile fond, and Alec knew they'd work they way through everything they needed to, bit by bit and step by step.

They had time. They'd both chosen this, chosen them, and they weren't going anywhere.

Magnus leaned in to kiss him this time, slowly, steadily, again and again, as if Alec was the irresistible one, as if he couldn't have pulled away even if he'd wanted to. 

Not that either of them wanted anything besides this. 

Eventually they slowed enough they stopped, no more kissing, no more words. Alec closed his eyes and listened to Magnus breathe, felt his own breath slow to match, felt his heartbeat steady, felt himself doze, not quite asleep, not quite awake, basking in the comfort they'd found together.

When he blinked himself back into focus they weren't quite as tangled, lying next to each other rather than on top of each other. The light was warmer, as heavy and rich as gold. Magnus seemed more alert, looking right at him, his eyes bright and clear. Alec lost himself in Magnus' smile, found himself in the sight of Magnus' face gilded by the sun. 

He was so beautiful Alec forgot to breathe again. 

Until Magnus kissed him and then it was easy, breathing in Magnus between kisses. Magnus rolled onto his back, taking Alec with him. Their kisses slowed, more time lingering together, more time when their lips separated, more time to breathe. 

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"We really do have to get up this time." Magnus said it, but he didn't seem inclined to actually _do_ it, as he made no attempt to get up, made no shift to move out from under Alec's body to get himself free. Which clearly meant he needed to be kissed.

Again.

Magnus made a noise that was almost a whine, kissing back, half-pushing away and half-pulling closer, both at the same time. Alec lifted his head with a smack of lips, and grinned down at Magnus. "Are you sure? You don't seem sure."

"I'm sure Raphael doesn't want to see five miles of gorgeous naked legs striding around." Magnus managed a light smack of his own, his hand landing just below Alec's hip. "And I'm mostly sure I don't want to share the sight with him either."

Alec snorted out a laugh. "Only mostly?" 

"Well, it is a _tragedy_ to cover you up, we established this already." Magnus' eyes glinted like gold, like bronze, like copper. "But you're my work of art, not his."

"You're the only masterpiece in the room."

Magnus tried to roll his eyes, but he was clearly too pleased for it to be effective. "Have I told you that you are ridiculous?"

"I seem to recall something to that effect." Alec let his nose bump gently against Magnus', nuzzled against his cheek. "Right before you told me you loved me, so I think you like that I'm ridiculous." 

"I like that _we're_ ridiculous," Magnus said. "Wouldn't be at all the same if you were off being ridiculous on your own."

"Never again," Alec followed the fall of his breath until he was almost touching Magnus' mouth with his own. "Not really. Even if you're not here?" Alec kissed his lips. "We're always together here," he lifted himself up to kiss Magnus' forehead, then down again to linger right over Magnus' heart, "and here."

"That was terribly cheesy, I am horrified for both of us."

Alec lifted his chin to look up at Magnus, lifted his eyebrows with his question. "Both?"

"Well it _worked,_ didn't it?" Magnus half-pursed his lips, attempting to look annoyed, but at the same time his skin was flushed and his eyes were still shining bright. "Whatever am I going to do the first time you say something like that in public? I'll be mortifyingly delighted."

"I'm going to blush every time you so much as smile in my general direction for quite possibly the rest of my life, if that helps?"

Magnus laughed aloud, crinkles by his eyes and warmth filling the air. "It might. I do enjoy that tremendously."

"Good." They were kissing again, warm lips and the soft tease of tongues barely touching and so much skin on skin. Somewhere, somehow, between one hot breath and another it shifted from comforting to scalding, and Alec heard himself whine as Magnus' lips left his. 

Magnus groaned and pushed Alec away, eyebrows scowling, lips twitching as he kept forcing his smile away. "Stop that. Visitors. Food. _Trousers._ "

Alec's sigh of dismay was as melodramatic as he could make it, and even so it was only slightly exaggerated. 

But he made himself roll off the bed and away from Magnus. Made himself get all the way out of bed, made himself stand up, made himself step away, picking up his clothes as he crossed the bedroom.

Bathroom, washcloth, mouthwash, _pants._

When he got back to the bedroom, Magnus had his pants on, too. Alec sighed again. 

Tragedy was right. 

Alec crossed his arms in front of his chest, leaned back against the bedroom wall, and decided that while clearly not as enjoyable as naked Magnus, shirtless Magnus in tight black pants was still a very nice view. 

"Well." Magnus glanced over sideways, a flare of his fingers following the movement of his head. He tilted his head. "Mmm." 

Magnus stepped back from the door of his closet and turned towards Alec with a sway to his hips that made Alec's skin flush hot. Magnus' eyes flicked down and up, then wandered down Alec's body again, taking his time, and Alec started to push himself upright.

Magnus shook his head, and put his palm flat against Alec's chest to push him back against the wall. Alec was hyper-aware of the shape of each and every one of Magnus' fingers, the strength held in check behind the gentle pressure of his touch, the way his bicep moved as he pushed in and bent his arm, the rub of the wall against Alec's bare shoulders.

Magnus followed until he was leaning in close, close enough to whisper. " _Oh no, he's hot._ "

Alec swallowed something that was almost a moan. He wasn't sure how a lingering look and four whispered words had him half-hard already, but he supposed that was just _Magnus._ "I thought we had to get ready?"

Magnus lifted one eyebrow, his lips twisted into a smirk. "Are you saying you don't want a blowjob?"

"I would never say that," Alec breathed out.

Magnus leaned in even closer, breath hot against Alec's neck, lips brushing against his skin with each word. "Then you'll just have to come quickly, won't you?"

Alec's head thumped back against the wall as he swallowed, hard. Magnus nibbled and nipped along the edge of Alec's collarbone, and Alec really didn't want to argue with that. When Magnus' hands reached his belt, when he pulled the buckle free, Alec knew he _couldn't_ argue with that, couldn't do anything but stay where he'd been put and wait.

"Can you do that for me?" The sound of the zipper of his jeans sliding open seemed _loud_ , louder than Alec's breathing, than the heavy rhythm of his heart in his chest. "Don't hold back."

Alec nodded, managed an almost inaudible "mmm-hmm," unsure if that was more or less coherent than the _please, thank you, god you're amazing_ running through his head. 

Magnus smiled against Alec's chest, and hummed something that sounded like approval.

It was only a breath later that Magnus was sliding down onto his knees and pushing Alec's jeans and underwear out of the way. The way he wrapped his hand around Alec's newly freed cock was deliberate and graceful, strong bare fingers knowing just how to stroke, how to tug, and Alec swallowed a moan half from the sight as well as the feel. 

Magnus flicked his tongue forward but didn't _quite_ make contact, and Alec dug his nails into his biceps to hold himself still, to stop himself from grabbing and tugging on Magnus' hair. "Tease," he forced out, voice low and unsteady. "I thought we weren't holding back."

Magnus clicked his tongue, the _tsk_ immediately followed by the distinctive rip of foil, and Magnus winked up at Alec as he held the condom up in one hand and threw the wrapper over his shoulder with the other. 

Alec's half smile wavered with a sharp stutter of breath at the first press of latex against his cock. His smile disappeared entirely with a ragged exhale as Magnus used the circle of his fingers to start unrolling the condom. His whole body tried to arc away from the wall, flushed and taut, vision gone slightly blurry, when Magnus leaned forward and used his mouth to move the condom the rest of the way down, taking all of Alec's cock into his mouth with one smooth slide. 

He paused, pressing up with his tongue as he adjusted.

"Magnus," Alec whispered, unable to do anything else.

Magnus _swallowed_ and Alec shouted out loud, eyes squeezed shut and hips jerking forward. Magnus hummed again and Alec gasped, trying to breathe, and gave himself up entirely to Magnus' attentions. 

Neither of them held back, and it didn't take long.

It felt amazing, the twist of heat deep inside, the tension building beneath his skin, the bright flash of pleasure so intense Alec had to slap his arms back against the wall to hold himself up, to counter the tremble in his thighs, his hips, the weakness in his knees as they almost gave way.

He still might have fallen if not for Magnus' grip on him, hands tight around his hips, the press of his forehead against Alec's stomach once he'd let Alec's cock slip free of his mouth.

"Hmmnn." One hand sort of slapped at the wall, and the other managed to make it to Magnus' head, careful not to tangle his hair, just resting behind his ear. "Gimme. Sec."

Magnus shook his head, his forehead rubbing against Alec's skin, almost tickling. "M'good."

"You don't want me to return the favor?"

"I would never say that." Magnus chuckled, breath soft on Alec's stomach. He lifted his head, smiled as Alec rubbed his thumb along the line of Magnus' jaw. "But I think I'll enjoy the anticipation of that _favor_ all day."

"So you're going to tease yourself as much as you tease me?"

"Something like that." 

Alec hissed and closed his eyes as Magnus pulled off the condom. He opened them again and watched Magnus rise back up onto his feet and turn around, throw away the condom, and return to his closet. 

Alec watched him sort through his closet, pick out a shirt. He enjoyed the shift of muscled shoulders as Magnus got dressed, the stretch of silk as his shirt settled.

Magnus turned back around, buttoning his shirt, and tilted his head as he looked at Alec, still leaning in the same place against the wall. 

"Probably want to tuck yourself back together."

Alec grinned and rolled his eyes. "Yes, sir."

Magnus stumbled, hand pressed to his chest and eyes wide. " _Alexander._ "

Alec lifted his eyebrows, attempted something resembling an innocent expression even as he did, at last, pull up his pants up and reach for his belt. "What. Just giving you something to help with that anticipation."

"You're a little evil, aren't you?" The spread of Magnus' hands and the shifting of his shoulders made it clear it was a compliment.

"You're not the only one who can tease."

Magnus blew him a kiss and someone knocked on the apartment door and for an instant they both froze. Magnus lifted his chin, and Alec let out one long sigh before he nodded.

Showtime.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the working title of this chapter was "my fic needs more ladies" so uh... second-hand brunch is hopefully not too disappointing 😉 ([on tumblr](http://faejilly.tumblr.com/post/183802786593))

[cat]: you two have the worst timing

[dot]: what? are you? IT'S TOO EARLY

[tessa]: why are you yelling at us? Shouldn't you be on your way to brunch?

[cat]: I need reinforcements! Company!

[tessa]: well you can talk to the ALA about their conference schedules then, not us

[cat]: but some sanity would be nice

[dot]: are the boys being especially *boys* at you?

[cat]: yes  
[cat]: also Magnus is overly infatuated with someone, even for him  
[cat]: and he only met the guy last night! Sort of? I think  
[cat]: I'm freaking out, but Ragnor is being very calm about it all, which is weird and not helping

[tessa]: Ragnor's always been a hopeless romantic, of course he's happy for Magnus.

[cat]: but he USUALLY thinks Magnus has terrible taste and no self-preservation instinct

[dot]: I am almost personally offended by that first part considering how I met the rest of you, but he's not wrong on that second part so I suppose I'll let it be

[cat]: Magnus was so nervous I went with him to get a mani/pedi to help him calm down and he was practically vibrating in his chair, they had the hardest time getting his nails finished.

[tessa]: Magnus was nervous before he met the guy? That's... unusual.

[cat]: they'd been chatting via email, and it was their first in person thing. I have no idea what I should expect, or what I should say at brunch  
[cat]: because I'm going to have to ask, right?

[tessa]: you won't have to ask, you'll know how it went as soon as you see him

[cat]: you would think that, but Raphael's already preparing to murder the guy just in case, and Ragnor's being *mysterious* and I need back-up and you two are in the wrong time zone

[tessa]: sorry?

[cat]: are you though?

[dot]: I am, I want to watch! It will either be horrifyingly entertaining, or it'll be actual good news and Magnus being happy

[tessa]: which is always nice to see

[cat]: maybe I'll bring some extra asti. Either for celebrating or commiserating?

[dot]: now I really wish I was there

[tessa]: so do I. Keep us updated.

[dot]: take pictures! Lots of pictures.

* * *

* * *

[cat]: they're going to have beautiful babies some day  
[cat]: possibly starting tomorrow  
[cat]: no wait, we have to wait for you to get back  
[cat]: next weekend?

[dot]: wtf cat

[tessa]: kl;'/.

[dot]: I'll have you know Tessa just choked on her tea and is a really improbable shade of red right now

[cat]: sorry  
[cat]: not about that, but I don't have any pictures  
[cat]: Magnus' boy was embarrassed enough when we got there because they'd clearly lost track of time and he had to find his shirt after we walked in and he blushed half way down his chest

[dot]: oh my god 😅  
[dot]: where was his shirt?

[cat]: half off the footstool by the couch, pretty sure it got thrown over someone's shoulder last night

[dot]: did Magnus look sad when he put it back on?

[cat]: I was too sad when he put it back on to tell

[dot]: Tessa just choked again. I think you broke her. She doesn't know how to drink anymore.

[cat]: Raphael responded to the shirt fiasco via That Glare™

[dot]: I am so glad I don't get That Glare™ anymore

[cat]: I could tell he was thinking this guy was just using Magnus for a good time last night and trying to decide how thoroughly to murder him.  
[cat]: But the boy glared back, and I think they had some sort of secret conversation via scowling eyebrows and rolled eyes? Because afterwards they were perfectly civil to each other.

[dot]: what. how.

[tessa]: stop I can't breathe

[dot]: don't stop I wanna see if she turns any other silly colors

[cat]: oh, I can't stop. I am nowhere near being able to stop

[dot]: yay!

[cat]: Ragnor said "it was nice to see him again" and didn't tease him about the shirt thing and actually engaged in small talk about someone they both knew for like five minutes

[tessa]: Ragnor can be nice for Magnus' sake. Occasionally. With a little prodding.

[cat]: He did it on his own! He started the conversation!

[tessa]: no

[cat]: apparently a friend of Alec's (that's the boy, sorry, I am going all out of order aren't I? Magnus calls him *Alexander* but he introduced himself to us as Alec so I'm pretty sure no one else is ever going to get to call him that)  
[cat]: where was I?

[dot]: I have no idea but don't ever stop

[tessa]: there's a panel starting in fifteen minutes so you'll have to stop eventually but not quite yet

[dot]: whatever, this is better than a panel

[tessa]: not when I'm IN IT

[dot]: I suppose?

[tessa]: not all of us are just here for the shopping and networking

[cat]: ANYWAY  
[cat]: Friend! Of Alec's! Who apparently needed a leave of absence for a semester but she was past the cut-off date and Alec was personally going to all her professors to get exceptions for her? And Ragnor helped? So he was asking Alec how she was doing now. He remembered her name and everything, he didn't just go by her hair color or a paper she wrote, he used her NAME. Bri? Brand—no. Something with a B at least.

[tessa]: sounds like the friend's pretty remarkable too if Ragnor remembered them both

[cat]: and he's apparently hired Alec for the summer work-study the Classics department does FOUR YEARS IN A ROW, even though he's not even an undergrad anymore so Ragnor had to fill out extra paperwork FROM THE DEAN'S OFFICE

[tessa]: Ragnor voluntarily subjected himself to more Aldertree? Isn't the summer program mostly for putting a student between him and the Dean so he has *less* Aldertree?

[dot]: I know you're generally very honest, and if for some reason you aren't, you're a better liar than this  
[dot]: but I'm still having trouble believing you

[cat]: I was there and I almost don't believe me

[tessa]: So Ragnor already liked him. And has known him for over four years. At some point Magnus is going to be very upset that he never introduced them.

[cat]: Magnus started to do that wide-eyed hiss thing that he does right before he verbally eviscerates you, you know the thing

[dot]: ouch.

[tessa]: How much blood was shed?

[cat]: None.  
[cat]: Alec leaned in and said something stupidly sappy like, *but we've met now* and Magnus just... smiled and leaned against his shoulder? That was it.

[dot]: he's a Magnus-Whisperer!

[tessa]: how much did you all drink for Magnus to be that relaxed at a meet-the-boyfriend thing?

[cat]: not a drop. We were all too busy being shocked to even open anything

[dot]: but. Brunch! Mimosas!

[cat]: Gorgeous boy over six feet tall who blushes!

[tessa]: wow  
[tessa]: I am really really sad about the lack of pictures now. Not as sad as Dot, but still sad

[cat]: And then! He left before we did because he had to go home and change before a thing at a bookstore this afternoon  
[cat]: like a volunteering thing, not even getting paid, he's just *helping*

[dot]: which bookstore?

[cat]: uh. The one with the name that's actually some names rather than a book pun of some sort, makes it sound all classy? Starts with ffff... fuck it I can't remember.

[dot]: Fray & Garroway? That makes sense... they hire a lot of short-term students and have like twenty children who all show up at events

[cat]: Magnus did mention something about an improbable number of siblings

[dot]: probably one of them, then

[tessa]: how do you know so much about a random bookstore?

[dot]: Elliot used to go to estate sales with Jocelyn Fray before she died.  
[dot]: He's got a couple pictures of them in his office, grinning over some find or another. He said she had a _knack,_ you know? Always spotted the best stuff. She was mostly going for stuff for herself or fixtures rather than stuff to sell, but they clearly had a good time hunting together.  
[dot]: He still refers people over there if they're looking for books beyond what we've currently got in stock, or if they're fine with later editions, since we usually just keep firsts or seconds. Luke sends people our way periodically too.

[tessa]: Jocelyn, I haven't thought about her in ages, that must have been what, over ten years ago?

[dot]: must be. Hell, her daughter Clary's probably old enough to drink now. That's a weird thought.

[tessa]: because we're so ancient in comparison? 🙄  
[tessa]: regardless, I do have to get going, and put my phone in silent. Don't go too crazy without me

[dot]: too late!

[cat]: nah, I think that's most of it  
[cat]: for now, at least. I cannot wait until you two meet him next week

[dot]: if you think I'm going to wait until next week to find out more you do not know me as well as I thought you did

[cat]: good luck 😉

[dot]: I don't need luck, kitty cat, you know that

[cat]: you're much more impetuously curious than I am, why am I the kitty cat?

[dot]: you have a much nicer purr?

[cat]: you are ridiculous

[dot]: and proud of it. If you find anything else out, do let us know.

[cat]: I think I'm afraid of what you'd do with it... you could always try Ragnor?

[dot]: you know that's useless, he enjoys knowing shit no one else does WAY too much to share  
[dot]: he's going to be lording his Alec knowledge over us for ages

[cat]: not too long. He enjoys sharing exasperated looks about Magnus even more

[dot]: ha. True.  
[dot]: But that won't help me before I get back

[cat]: you're back TOMORROW

[dot]: late tomorrow! That's two whole days! At least!

[cat]: you're exhausting

[dot]: 😘

[cat]: well it's not like I could slow you down, much less stop you. Have fun investigating?

[dot]: will do.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know you guys said you wanted one long chapter rather than several short ones in a row, but I literally have trouble reading that many words in a chapter on AO3, like. Logistically/technically, I can't even explain it, I get lost on the page. SO I'M IGNORING YOUR CLEAR PREFERENCE. (Plus I really wanted to post today and the end of the long chapter is *not quite right* yet. Have half the thing in compromise instead? I guess?) Feel free to say hi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/faejilly)/[tumblr](http://faejilly.tumblr.com/) or do the hashtag thing: #iamforyoufic

**SUNDAY**  

* * *

 

[alec]: I hope me leaving so abruptly didn't ruin the rest of your brunch with your friends

[magnus]: of course not. We've had much more dramatic days. This one was even all good news! It's a nice change.  
[magnus]: I'll admit I'm a touch surprised to hear from you so quickly though?

[alec]: I'm waiting to finish getting ready... Shared bathroom remember

[magnus]: oh yes that. Ugh.  
[magnus]: we'll have to make sure you have a change of clothes so you can shower over hear from now on  
[magnus]: *here

[alec]: that's still sharing a bathroom 😉

[magnus]: as if you didn't enjoy "sharing" my bathroom

[alec]: you just want an excuse to shower with me again, don't you?

[magnus]: hopefully daily

[alec]: I don't think your water heater would survive that  
[alec]: not sure i'd survive either, but what a way to go

[magnus]: they have industrial water heaters for the whole building. I've never run out of hot water

[alec]: hot damn I love you  
[alec]: I mean. I do. But I haven't managed a long hot shower (before last night) in at least a month.  
[alec]: so I think I also love your plumbing

[magnus]: you're welcome to start a torrid affair with my plumbing any time you'd like  
[magnus]: as long as I'm also invited  
[magnus]: because I love you too

[alec]: I could just... wait, my bathroom's free, so I better get in there while the getting's good

[magnus]: could just? You know you can ask me anything. When you get a chance, of course. (Hope the hedge doesn't give you too hard a time at your book signing.)

* * *

[alec]: Did you know that your friend Dot works with a guy who was Clary's Mom's best friend before she died and apparently Uncle Elliot just asked Clary if she knew an Alec or Alexander?

[magnus]: no  
[magnus]: so much. I don't even know what else to say to anything in that sentence  
[magnus]: How. She's on the wrong COAST right now!

[alec]: Clary didn't tell him anything, which Elliot should have very well known she wouldn't. But we're going to have to think of some way to soothe the hedge this week, as they've all gone into "protect Clary" mode.  
[alec]: Except for Clary herself, she thinks it's hilarious and was laughing so much she had trouble telling Elliot off for being pushy.  
[alec]: You should probably give Dot my number so she can interrogate me directly without provoking my siblings again.

[magnus]: hell no, that was out of line, I'm going to yell at her  
[magnus]: but she will probably interrogate you next weekend regardless of anything I say

[alec]: can't really blame her

[magnus]: yes I can. She will get no mimosas for at least a month. Or dancing! No more dancing.

[alec]: oh so harsh. Whatever will she do with her fancy dancing shoes?

[magnus]: I can't believe you're joking about this, she's invading your privacy.

[alec]: She just wanted to know who swept you off your feet. No telling what she's heard from brunch

[magnus]: she was being unbearably nosy, probably trying to see if she can find you online or something

[alec]: She might, unfortunately.  
[alec]: but I don't know what's still likely to show up in the results

[magnus]: I don't think she'll be invited to brunch at all for awhile

[alec]: I don't think that's necessary. She just wants to be sure you're safe.  
[alec]: Besides, you met the hedge. Don't think I'd recognize this so-called privacy if I had it.

[magnus]: just because your siblings are a bit much doesn't make her behavior acceptable

[alec]: it's fine, I get where she's coming from. You're worth protecting.  
[alec]: Elliot didn't mean any harm, Clary's not upset, and the rest of them will recover.  
[alec]: Besides, my siblings and I are co-dependent dysfunctional fiends, it's ok, you can say that outloud.  
[alec]: type it outloud? That doesn't sound right. Look right?

[magnus]: you're not supposed to distract me from my righteous fury by being adorable

[alec]: why not? You're so beautiful you distract me from everything and anything else

[magnus]: stop making me blush and go back to work. That is why you had to leave me this morning, make it worth it

[alec]: nothing's worth leaving you

[magnus]: you're not stopping!  
[magnus]: I'm going to come over there and throw you over my shoulder and take you back to my bedroom and never let you go again

[alec]: that's more a reward than a threat  
[alec]: but all right I'll pretend to be responsible and do what I said I'd do. For now. I'll see you later

[magnus]: of course

* * *

[magnus]: so apparently your step-father is also still in touch with Elliot and asked him about Dot and then me. I know this because Dot apologized before I even managed to yell at her since she hadn't meant to escalate quite that far  
[magnus]: your hedge is terrifying

[alec]: yours started it?  
[alec]: but yes, they are. I did warn you

[magnus]: I think I was more concerned about the excessive number of siblings than the parents. Silly of me, I guess

[alec]: No, that was where I was worried too. At least until we drag you to family dinner night.  
[alec]: and then I was still more worried about Mom. She tends to be a bit... intense. Luke's usually much more easy-going. Going sideways with his questions like that seems a bit extreme from him, but I suppose he wanted an opinion that wasn't one of my siblings' first impressions? Or possibly he was mad at Elliot for the digging, considering...  
[alec]: I suppose it's my turn to go asking my family what-the-fuck they think they're doing. Thanks for the tag?

[magnus]: You're welcome.

[alec]: I should probably not interrupt the poor author's reading, just in case  
[alec]: I'm not sure if waiting all the way 'til dinner (or so?) would be better or if I should catch him right after the store closes

[magnus]: I'm sure you'll figure it out. And I'm sure your author appreciates your consideration, though I hope it's not that bad

[alec]: probably won't be, but you can never quite be sure

[magnus]: Dot wasn't. She apparently just wasn't thinking beyond confirming you were part of the Garroway horde, maybe getting enough info to look you up in the student directory.  
[magnus]: I told her that thanks to her accidental drama she was going to have to wait until next week for any information or contact. She said that was fair.

[alec]: why does your hedge sound more reasonable than mine?

[magnus]: smaller? I've never been the responsible one?

[alec]: I don't believe that, you obviously take great care of them

[magnus]: thank you. They take care of me back.  
[magnus]: You've always been their big brother more than their friend, haven't you?

[alec]: I suppose

[magnus]: they weren't the ones who picked up the pieces for you when you were in the hospital, or afterwards

[alec]: of course not. Hadn't even met most of them, and Jace was in a new school for his senior year, and Izzy was only fifteen.

[magnus]: I'm not saying you should have let them, I agree, they were mostly all still children then. But that changes the dynamic, I think  
[magnus]: my hedge has cleaned me up more times than I'd like to admit

[alec]: I'm glad they were there for you

[magnus]: yours would be happy to help you if you needed them

[alec]: I know

[magnus]: good  
[magnus]: I should probably let you get going, sorry for interrupting

[alec]: oh, our event's started, they just needed me for setting up, and then cleaning up afterwards. And possibly to stand in the background and look scary if anyone gets too rude during the actual signing at the end.  
[alec]: I'm mostly free for the next hour or two during the reading and Q&A, I'd say.

[magnus]: how free is free? 😈

[alec]: that question makes me nervous

[magnus]: 😇

[alec]: that didn't help

[magnus] wasn't supposed to  
[magnus]: and you never answered me

[alec]: I'm in the break-room  
[alec]: so I can talk but if you're going to suggest something *interesting* may I remind you that my siblings or parents could decide to wander by at any moment

[magnus]: some day I am going to have to ask exactly what you meant by *interesting*  
[magnus]: but for now... Can I call? I'll share every embarrassing Dot story I can think of so you're prepared for next weekend  
[magnus]: and you can help me figure out what your hedge would like in the dramatic apology gift basket that Dot's going to be getting Clary.

[alec]: sounds perfect

* * *

[alec]: so. Uh. Luke apologized for adding to the extra drama, he was just annoyed at Elliot for throwing his question at Clary, considering the whole *name changing running away from abusive father* thing could make intrusive family questions a very bad thing  
[alec]: also Mom has invited you to family dinner next week  
[alec]: I'd say I hope that's not too soon but if my instantaneous disaster-marriage-proposal didn't scare you off I'm mostly sure my Mom can't. I think

[magnus]: you say such nice things about your mother most of the time, but then you also sound kind of terrified

[alec]: she means well but doesn't always give the best first impression

[magnus]: I must admit that did not make me less nervous

[alec]: oh, if you want terrifying mothers, wait until Aline gets back.  
[alec]: Jia Penhallow is something else. Though she is how we ended up in Alicante when we left NYC, so she's not all bad. Just intimidating.

[magnus]: wait. That sounds familiar? Penhallow?

[alec]: she's Head Surgeon or something fancy like that at Alicante General. She and Mom have been friends since college. She'd apparently been talking about the upgrades to the psych admittance policies or something, which was why Mom thought to come here when she knew she wanted to get us away from Robert.

[magnus]: OH. DOCTOR Penhallow. Cat's mentioned her! Small world.  
[magnus]: Pretty sure Cat also called her terrifying, and Cat's hard to rattle.  
[magnus]: So maybe we'll avoid meeting your cousin Aline's mother for awhile yet

[alec]: sounds like a plan.  
[alec]: Aline's not going to be back 'til fall, she and Helen are doing a summer in Europe kind of thing when their semester's over, so I think we're safe for now

[magnus]: only for now?

[alec]: I've known Aline since shortly after she was born, they're gonna be at the wedding. You definitely want to meet Aunt Jia before that, she's got this /formal event face/ that could probably kill a man at 100yds if she wanted

[magnus]: so you're trying to make me less nervous about meeting your mother by outright terrifying me about meeting your aunt?  
[magnus]: I'm not sure that's the best long-term plan

[alec]: uh. Because it wasn't a plan at all. Sorry.

[magnus]: it's a good thing you're cute

[alec]: only cute? That feels like a downgrade somehow

[magnus]: you did just try and scare me AWAY from your family, which is a terrible trait in a fiance

[alec]: wouldn't it be worse NOT to warn you before you face the... everything?  
[alec]: besides, I can't have scared you too much if you're still willing to marry me

[magnus]: don't think anything could scare me that much

[alec]: goddamn you're amazing  
[alec]: ...  
[alec]: did you mean it about the daily showers?

[magnus]: I've meant everything I've said to you. 😘  
[magnus]: So yes.

[alec]: does that mean you want me to move in?  
[alec]: because I am just self-aware enough to recognize that that's probably even crazier than the engagement and family dinner after a week, but not sensible enough not to want to  
[alec]: if you want me to  
[alec]: oh hell that looks even crazier in black and white than it did in my head  
[alec]: ...  
[alec]: Magnus?

[magnus]: Ragnor, believe it or not, owns an actual pick-up truck  
[magnus]: which I can borrow on...  
[magnus]: Wednesday  
[magnus]: We can pack you up tomorrow or Tues?

[alec]: did you just ask him about his truck before even telling me you didn't think I'd finally crossed the too-crazy line? Thanks for that.

[magnus]: oops?

[alec]: how much lecturing are we gonna get from him about it?

[magnus]: oh, all of the lecturing for forever

[alec]: good thing you're gorgeous  
[alec]: and that I know a bookstore that always has a stack of sturdy boxes ready to be put back together  
[alec]: Tues would be perfect

[magnus]: Tues will be perfect  
[magnus]: I'm sure of it

[alec]: I'm sure of us, too

* * *

**MONDAY**

* * *

[magnus]: your lovely sister said you 'generally' refuse to dance  
[magnus]: what does GENERALLY mean?  
[magnus]: do I have to get you drunk?

[alec]: I think the singular time my sister saw me dance was at Lydia's engagement party. Her— John dared me, and it was his night, so I felt I couldn't refuse.  
[alec]: And I was DD for the hedge so no, drunk is not required

[magnus]: well that's even more intriguing  
[magnus]: why don't you usually dance?  
[magnus]: considering how you move your hips I can't imagine you're terrible at it

[alec]: oh god I snorted out loud and got glared at by the people studying at the next table over, you're dangerous

[magnus]: I am, aren't I?

[alec]: and I dance, just not for the hedge  
[alec]: I'll dance with you whenever you'd like

[magnus]: I almost dropped my phone, you're more dangerous than I am  
[magnus]: is now good? Are you done? With... whatever?

[alec]: How about post-move-in celebration dancing?

[magnus]: Is right now good for moving?  
[magnus]: oh wait no. professoring. Damn.

[alec]: I do have a shift at the SC tonight, and tomorrow I've got to finish some readings as well as packing, so even IF we had a truck already, I think we'd still be stuck on Wed.

[magnus]: ah well. It was a nice thought for a moment there  
[magnus]: though. by dance do you mean DANCE or /dance/  
[magnus]: do I need to get a pair of tear-away pants for my sex box?

[alec]: your wait what now? (no. maybe? If you want to?)

[magnus]: the box. Of stuff. Under the bed. Fun stuff! We should go through the box.  
[magnus]: after dancing, so we're both impatient for Wed surprises  
[magnus]: don't you have a sex box?

[alec]: running away from home. Roommates. Student housing. Eldest of so many siblings. I have a drawer next to the bed. It has condoms, lube, and a sleep mask and earplugs which have been used for afternoon naps when I'm too sleep-deprived to last another hour  
[alec]: not sex.  
[alec]: Though. That has promise doesn't it, not able to see or hear what's going to happen, having to wait until you feel it?

[magnus]: we maybe don't have to wait 'til Wed for that one

[alec]: wow I really don't want to go to work now. Damn it.  
[alec]: but yeah. My drawer is sad. I need you to save me. Show me your box.

[magnus]: our box now

* * *

[maryse]: Hello, Magnus? This is Maryse, Alec's mother

[magnus]: hello, yes. Alec said you wanted to ask me something?

[maryse]: I wanted to make sure you knew family dinner is completely optional. No one wants to pressure you, or will think less of you if you don't want to just yet. I'm aware we're rather a lot, and I know you and Alec just met.

[magnus]: that's very thoughtful of you  
[magnus]: Now I know where Alec gets it. He said much the same thing before Simon's gig, and again for dinner. I can assure you that I am looking forward to meeting you and your husband.  
[magnus]: and am only a reasonable amount of nervous.

[maryse]: we're very much looking forward to meeting you, too  
[maryse]: and in the interests of keeping everything as comfortable as possible, do you have any requests for dinner? Any allergies? Preferences? Anything you definitely don't want?

[magnus]: no allergies, no. Thank you. And I've never met a home-cooked meal I wasn't delighted to receive, so feel free to make your own favorites

[maryse]: oh, don't ever say that to Izzy! She cannot cook to save her life, but she'd be honored to try, for someone Alec likes. (And then we'd have to get something delivered.)  
[maryse]: And make sure you check on Alec if he ever cooks for you. He has a lovely light touch for baking, and if he knows a dish he can always repeat it  
[maryse]: but he'll follow the worst recipe in the world without a second thought just because *they wrote it down that way for a reason*

[magnus]: oh no, I'm going to need to hear more about that  
[maryse]: it will be my pleasure. I believe I may even have some photographic evidence. I'll see what I can find for Sunday

[magnus]: why thank you.

[maryse]: no need to thank me, it will be my very great pleasure. I seldom get the chance to reminisce about Alec, he always slips in the background and lets his siblings take center stage.

[magnus]: I'm afraid I won't help that tendency, I am fond of and usually found in the spotlight, myself

[maryse]: and he wouldn't have it any other way, I'm sure. It's not a bad thing, just an observation.  
[maryse]: I do like the chance to shake things up a little though.

[magnus]: I can definitely help with that one

[maryse]: perfect. I can't wait.

[magnus]: me neither

* * *

[magnus]: I'll have you know, your mother gives an excellent first impression

[alec]: well, that's good. She did call you then?

[magnus]: texted, actually.

[alec]: really? I don't think she's ever texted me in my life  
[alec]: I think she's trying to tone it down for you  
[alec]: maybe she felt bad about the Elliot/Luke/Dot/Clary thing

[magnus]: well that's unnecessary, she didn't have a hand in any of that

[alec]: where do you think I got my over-developed sense of personal responsibility?

[magnus]: is she where you got the height and eyes too?

[alec]: No, those are from her Dad. Skipped a generation. She can be blamed for the dark hair and cheekbones though.  
[alec]: She and Izzy look a lot alike actually. Though maybe don't mention that to either of them? They... don't always like to admit how similar they are.

[magnus]: Can your mother at least cook better than Isabelle? Because I did get a warning about your sister's food

[alec]: oh hell, yeah. Mom's a great cook, so's Robert actually. But Izzy's liable to give you food poisoning. Or make you wish she had, so you could puke it all up and pretend it never happened.

[magnus]: that's... extreme

[alec]: well. Brotherly exaggeration? It is usually edible but it's never *good*. I don't know why, she's brilliant, got into med school and aced all her chem classes and that's all much harder than following a recipe so there shouldn't be such a difference in results, but somehow there is.

[magnus]: I've always felt cooking was as much art as science

[alec]: she's good at that too though? She got into cosplay when she got out of rehab, something to distract her hands and thoughts I think, and now she designs and makes prop weapons for people as a hobby. Sometimes costume jewelry too. She and Clary have even got an etsy shop, and some textile one too that I can't remember the name of... spoon something? Flowers? I'll have to check. Clary does the fabric designs.  
[alec]: Oh, you should ask to see their workshop, they took over Luke's garage completely, don't think he's ever getting it back.

[magnus]: oh  
[magnus]: OH. DO YOU THINK I COULD GET THEM TO COME TALK TO THE THEATRE STUDENTS? Props and costumes and set designs... it'd be amazing

[alec]: they neither of them have a lot of time during the school year, but they'd probably love to help out with the summer camps you guys do

[magnus]: you know about the summer camps?

[alec]: I know lots of things  
[alec]: also Jace helps out with the music camp  
[alec]: his Dad taught him piano, and he kept it up after he came to live with us. Reclaimed it, really, his Dad was the worst.  
[alec]: I think Jace missed Robert's grand piano almost as much as he missed Max, right after we moved and everything was a mess

[magnus]: we work with the music dept ALL THE TIME. Including a one act musical every summer  
[magnus]: how have we not met before this?  
[magnus]: Ragnor and Jace and Dot and Elliot, and even Cat at the hospital, we've been just a step or two apart for years now

[alec]: maybe we weren't ready  
[alec]: it took me a long time to stop wondering if maybe Robert was a little bit right about me  
[alec]: and you've never had it easy

[magnus]: are you saying you believe in destiny?

[alec]: kind of hard not to, considering how I felt when I got your first email, and my first sight of you bore a more than passing resemblance to getting hit upside the head with a 2x4. But in a good way.  
[alec]: that maybe didn't come out right

[magnus]: maybe, but I know what you meant  
[magnus]: it felt the same for me, both times

[alec]: see? Fate

[magnus]: you make a compelling argument  
[magnus]: I think I must agree

[alec]: that bodes well for my future career, I think 😉

[magnus]: it does, doesn't it? 😘

* * *

**TUESDAY**

* * *

[ragnor]: you never struck me as the impetuous sort, Mr. Lightwood

[alec]: I think if you're going to be questioning me about Magnus, which is where I'm assuming this is going, you might as well call me Alec

[ragnor]: are you going to be able to call me Ragnor?

[alec]: not quite yet? Hopefully tomorrow. Or next week

[ragnor]: you can attempt it when I come pick up my truck Thur morning from *yours and Magnus'* apartment, yes?

[alec]: you seem much less concerned than I expected

[ragnor]: it is quite inexplicable, isn't it? I should be quite horrified  
[ragnor]: and yet

[alec]: I'll take that as a compliment

[ragnor]: that's probably what it is  
[ragnor]: either that or I'm going senile

[alec]: you're one of the sharpest men I've ever met

[ragnor]: you almost put a sir at the end of that sentence didn't you

[alec]: I didn't hit send before I took it out, it doesn't count

[ragnor]: I do like you  
[ragnor]: but this is really all very sudden, and Catarina does know how to kill a man so it looks like natural causes, and you know I have a vehicle big enough to haul a body  
[ragnor]: Magnus has been known to have poor taste in romantic partners, and we have refrained from murder before  
[ragnor]: I don't think we'll be making that mistake again

[alec]: good to know

[ragnor]: I believe you mean that

[alec]: I try to only say what I mean

[ragnor]: I've noticed that  
[ragnor]: It's very promising  
[ragnor]: if slightly unusual coming from a law student

[alec]: thank you?

[ragnor]: red-eye?

[alec]: I, what?

[ragnor]: Coffee. Thursday morning. That is your drink, yes?

[alec]: several times a day, honestly.  
[alec]: thank you

[ragnor]: you're welcome  
[ragnor]: oh, and Dot is apparently in trouble, and not allowed your phone number yet, but she did want me to pass along her apologies, for. Whatever it was.  
[ragnor]: don't tell me  
[ragnor]: I expect I'm too old for that story

[alec]: mostly just miscommunication, but tell her not to worry about it, I'm not the one who needs an apology, and

[ragnor]: I asked you not to tell me

[alec]: right. Sorry. I'll stop.

[ragnor]: you and Raphael are the only people that has ever worked on  
[ragnor]: thank all the gods, someone who can keep their mouth shut  
[ragnor]: Do try not to dent my truck

[alec]: I'll do my best

[ragnor]: I expect nothing less

* * *

[alec]: Ragnor's almost scarier as your friend than he was as my professor or boss

[magnus]: You shouldn't worry. He's secretly a big softie. All bark, no bite.

[alec]: I'm not sure. He's very sharp-tongued, and then he's very kind once you get past the exasperation and sarcasm, but under that I think maybe he's scary again.

[magnus]: not many people notice that  
[magnus]: I knew you were remarkable  
[magnus]: wait, why are you coming to this conclusion now? Was he giving you a hard time about moving in?

[alec]: actually no, he just pointed out that he *could* if he needed to later  
[alec]: and then told me he'd bring coffee Thur morning when he comes to get his truck

[magnus]: See! Big softie.  
[magnus]: Speaking of! However does he remember your Lydia? It's unusual he knows the names of the students who aren't majoring in Classics or History.

[alec]: oh  
[alec]: so uh. The short story is just...  
[alec]: Lydia and I took Prof Fell's etymology courses together. We're apparently memorable when we're in the same class as we tend to uh. Over-do it a little. Maybe. It was supposed to be sort of a break from the pre-law stress. But not really, since latin is still a thing in legal codes and we both liked the idea of learning how to figure it out rather than just memorizing the legal phrases as they showed up.   
[alec]: we're both of us bad at doing things that aren't, you know, part of The Plan™

[magnus]: I don't think I was part of your Plan™ and you're very good at doing me

[alec]: holyshitmagnus

[alec]: I almost killed my phone, I should no better than to drink while you're typing  
[alec]: *know  
[alec]: and thank you, you're amazing  
[alec]: in bed and out of it

[magnus]: In the shower, against the wall...  
[magnus]: we still haven't christened the kitchen though

[alec]: don't suppose you have a long lunch break today? Because I do.

[magnus]: I do actually. Would you care to be my lunch, Alexander?

[alec]: Any chance I get

[magnus]: 12:30 good?

[alec]: perfect

* * *

[magnus]: you know. I interrupted your Lydia story earlier

[alec]: I hope you're not apologizing, considering how you interrupted my Lydia story

[magnus]: Of course not!  
[magnus]: but considering all the overlap that is likely to happen with our assorted hedges as time goes by  
[magnus]: I feel I perhaps ought to ask  
[magnus]: about Lydia and her—about what Ragnor helped you both with? [magnus]: if you're comfortable

[alec]: John Monteverde was the first person I met here (he was working at the registrars the summer before I started) and we hit it off  
[alec]: he could tell I was worried about housing... freshman are required to room in the dorms, and here I was a year older than most with reasons to be nervous about how I'd handle a stranger as a roommate and while I might have managed an exception I would have had to talk to the Dean about my mental health and my year off and that sounded terrifying

[magnus]: the Deans are sort of a mixed bag, I don't blame you

[alec]: He saved me from the freshman dorms by requesting me as his roommate  
[alec]: and then there was this brilliant bull-headed blonde in most of my classes, so we studied together, a lot, and I introduced my study-partner to my roommate, and they just...  
[alec]: the three of us got a cheap two bedroom off campus the next year

[magnus]: he sounds lovely

[alec]: he's the one who talked me out of trying to graduate in three years  
[alec]: everyone was saying that I should take care of myself, that there was no reason I had to rush it, that I didn't have to "catch up" or anything  
[alec]: but I still felt like I needed to make up for that year, somehow

[magnus]: oh, Alexander

[alec]: even while I was trying to plan it I knew it was wrong but I couldn't seem to *stop*  
[alec]: until he told me to knock it off because Lydia and I were both pre-law, both pushing for Dean's list, both competing for... everything, really, mostly the same classes, same extracurriculars, and if I only did three years she'd probably end up only doing three years and be studying so much he'd never get to kiss his own girlfriend and *only I could save him from that tragedy*

[magnus]: that's delightful.

[alec]: just ridiculous enough it worked. I knew she could make her own mind up whether she wanted to accelerate her program or not, but realizing I didn't want her to feel she *had* to make that choice to keep up with me and John made it... somehow easier?

[magnus]: you'll always be better at taking care of other people rather than yourself

[alec]: pot, kettle?

[magnus]: probably why I recognize it so well

[alec]: they officially got engaged half-way through his senior year, mine and Lydia's junior year  
[alec]: they'd decided not to get married until after she'd made it through law school and they'd figured out where they were going next, but he wanted...  
[alec]: she wanted him forever, and he wanted the world to know it  
[alec]: and a few weeks later he was hit by a car

[magnus]: no. oh no.

[alec]: he lingered for awhile, but he never woke up, she never got to say good-bye properly

[magnus]: poor Lydia

[alec]: Yeah.  
[alec]: And then we found out that the bereavement policy for the school is only for immediate family. Parent, siblings, spouses. Not fiances. She couldn't withdraw without getting a slew of incompletes and failing grades on her transcripts. She had to get permission in writing from every class, was going to have to tell all those people, over and over, that she was heart-broken.

[alec]: and they were all going to say yes, she had good instructors, but still. It hurt her, reliving that just to *beg for mercy*, I think she called it. She managed one, and it almost broke her.

[magnus]: so you did the rest of them for her

[alec]: Pr—Ragnor helped, got me in touch with the one I didn't know personally.  
[alec]: Lydia went and stayed with John's parents for the next few months, but she was back next fall.  
[alec]: did an independent study and an online class or two over the summer, took a heavy load her senior year. Buried herself in work, half to get what she needed done, half as her way of dealing, being too busy to think, but she pulled it off. Graduated with me, right on time. Got into the Law Program with me too.  
[alec]: I don't actually remember the weekend after we graduated, there was a lot of alcohol involved even for normal college students, never mind the two of us, who almost never drink

[magnus]: but you both made it

[alec]: we did  
[alec]: five weeks and we'll have made it again  
[alec]: it's kind of unbelievable

[magnus]: I find it easy to believe in the both of you

[alec]: thank you

[magnus]: always

[alec]: love you

[magnus]: love you too.  
[magnus]: that also gets an always, just so you know

[alec]: I do know that

[magnus]: good

[alec]: you know  
[alec]: John's been gone for longer than either of us knew him when he was alive, but there's still... I still.  
[alec]: I don't think either of us would have made it without him, I don't think we'll either of us stop missing him, though for different reasons, obviously, there's just. There's a gap, and the rest of the world shifts around it until it's not such a deep aching chasm, but it's never really gone, never going to be refilled

[magnus] no, it never does. You never stop loving someone just because they died

[alec]: Lydia's never dated again. And I never asked, never pushed, but sometimes I wondered, if maybe she should? How else do you deal with meeting the love of your life at 18 and losing him at 21?

[magnus]: I don't know. Maybe you never do. Maybe you build a different life than the one you would have had, and fill that one up with different sorts of love instead

[alec]: I haven't even known you a month, and half of that time I'd never even seen you, but if ever...  
[alec]: there's no going back to who I was before I met you

[magnus]: I wouldn't want to go back to who I was before I met you  
[magnus]: even if ever...

[alec]: I'm sorry

[magnus]: for what?

[alec]: bringing the mood down?

[magnus]: I asked. And I'd rather you tell me anything, everything, rather than think that you shouldn't because it might be hard, or sad

[alec]: I don't always remember to say things, or know how to start even if I want to. I'm glad you asked

[magnus]: then I am too


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my working title for both this and last chapter, since I was working on them sort of all together, moving bits of days around and back and forth was "intertwining hedges" (in case you were wondering if I was remotely less of a ridiculous dork than anyone in this story, the answer is clearly no)   
> [[tumblr](http://faejilly.tumblr.com/post/184133939368)]  
> #iamforyoufic

**WEDNESDAY**

* * *

[jace]: coffee?

[alec]: uh. I'm. On the wrong busline, unless you want to meet somewhere other than the usual? Or after my morning class instead of before

[jace]: why are you?  
[jace]: oh  
[jace]: you didn't sleep at your place did you

[alec]: no.

[jace]: I love you, and he seems nice enough, and you're one of the smartest guys I know, but   
[jace]: this is really confusing and not at all like you  
[jace]: are you? IS HE? I don't even know what I want to ask

[alec]: I know it's crazy, but...   
[alec]: Give him a chance

[jace]: you know I will. He makes you smile. I'm just.

[alec]: worried. I know. I get it.

[jace]: well. I guess as long as you still recognize the crazy as you're doing it, it's not too bad, right?

[alec]: that does actually track

[jace]: you don't have to sound so surprised

[alec]: yes I do, part of the job

[jace]: the "being an asshole" job?

[alec]: I learned from the best

[jace]: 👉👌

[alec]: rude

[jace]: I learned from the best, too

[alec]: lunch instead of coffee?

[jace]: you know it

* * *

[magnus]: I have to go to a faculty meeting. I may die of boredom. Save me!

[alec]: and how am I supposed to do that? I can't go to your faculty meeting  
[alec]: and wouldn't even if I could, sorry

[magnus]: you're not at all sorry

[alec]: no, not really  
[alec]: I mean, being with you? Almost worth it.  
[alec]: but faculty meetings sound terrible  
[alec]: my professors always look either homicidal or half-dead with exhaustion after them

[magnus]: if I'm half-dead with exhaustion I will fall asleep on you tonight instead of any of the other things you want me to do to you

[alec]: you're terrible  
[alec]: maybe I want to do things to you instead

[magnus]: darling!  
[magnus]: tell me more, that will distract me wonderfully

[alec]: that might distract you too much  
[alec]: it will definitely distract me too much  
[alec]: and possibly get me kicked out of the union. I cannot be on the outs with the people who make me my coffee, I might die  
[alec]: and studying is more important. At least for another hour.

[magnus]: how distressingly sensible of you  
[magnus]: I can't believe I fell madly in love with someone SENSIBLE  
[magnus]: Cat is going to laugh at me for at least a decade

[alec]: I can't believe I fell madly in love with someone who was going to try and sext me during his meeting  
[alec]: Proper sexting deserves your complete focus

[magnus]: very true, that was terribly inconsiderate of me  
[magnus]: all right, I must go pretend to pay attention, but expect impertinent questions or inappropriate propositions as soon as I am free

[alec]: I look forward to it. Them. Both. Either. (You.)

* * *

[alec]: or actually, I could ask *you* a potentially impertinent question  
[alec]: that you do not at all need to answer

[magnus]: ask away

[alec]: so uh. Ragnor may have mentioned that they refrained from murdering a previous romantic entanglement of yours, and they weren't going to make that mistake again  
[alec]: and it seemed closer to serious than hyperbole

[magnus]: oh

[alec]: I am in no way claiming you have to tell me all about your exes, or that I'm worried about them in relation to us or anything. But that sounds serious and I hope... I guess that talking to me might help you as much as talking to you helps me

[magnus]: well, you know I dated Dot, the exes aren't all terrible

[alec]: that sentence kind of makes it sound like she's the exception that proves the rule  
[alec]: plus it didn't sound like either of you took it as much more than friends who are good dance partners and fooled around for awhile

[magnus]: *fooled around* oh dear I'm moving in with an 80yo grandpa

[alec]: apparently I talked like an 80yo grandpa when I was actually 8, Mom will be happy to tell you all about it

[magnus]: at 8 that's adorable. At 26 it's hilarious in entirely different ways

[alec]: glad I can amuse

[magnus]: you really can!   
[magnus]: and you're not wrong, we were always friends, more than anything else, and Dot is not QUITE the only exception but... I have previously always fallen for people who wanted different things than I did when we were together, they wanted a future when I wanted a present, I wanted to settle down a little when they wanted to go adventuring, that sort of thing  
[magnus]: it hurts, every time, you get bumped and bruised and scarred, but no one's *trying* to hurt anyone else, you just don't... fit

[alec]: oh, I should have asked this when we got back home, I really want to give you a hug

[magnus]: the fact that you called the apartment home is almost as good as a hug

[alec]: you're my home

[magnus]: however did I get so lucky as to meet you

[alec]: Ragnor hates Aldertree and you're too impatient to work technology properly?

[magnus]: I take it all back, you're awful

[alec]: you love me anyway

[magnus]: I do

[magnus]: her name was Camille

[alec]: the one Ragnor wishes he'd murdered?

[magnus]: yeah  
[magnus]: she's why I moved back to Alicante from NYC actually

[magnus]: Camille's an actress, gorgeous, smart, draws the eye when she enters a room. And when it went wrong it went really wrong, but when it started? We both fell hard, played hard, pushed each other into each new opportunity, each new audition, each new call-back.   
[magnus]: before her I'd barely been hanging on, couldn't seem to *feel* any of what I was doing, couldn't make myself finish the degree I'd been working part-time on for years at that point.  
[magnus]: if you've got no emotions to put into your work, no one wants to see it, no one wants to hire you.

[alec]: which just makes you feel worse and makes it that much harder the next day

[magnus]: exactly. But Camille believed in me, in us, in putting on a show, each day bigger and brighter than the day before  
[magnus]: suddenly I was working regularly, usually a couple levels of *Off* Broadway, but sometimes I swung closer, sometimes I got TV episode work, or small movie parts. It was good, I was doing what I'd always wanted, I finished my MFA, I could still eat and pay my share of rent and occasionally even buy new shoes  
[magnus]: which is a big deal when you're frequently working as a dancer or choreographer

[alec]: shoes are important, I know

[magnus]: you might not make that joke once you see inside my closet

[alec]: I wasn't joking

[magnus]: 😘

[alec]: 💘

[magnus]: you're ridiculous

[alec]: just for you

[magnus]: I thought Camille and I were happy, you know?  
[magnus]: but she wasn't. I don't know, it wasn't getting better fast enough for her, maybe  
[magnus]: I was doing more workshops here and there, standing on both sides of the curtain, and she couldn't see why I couldn't help her get her foot in a few more doors. Never mind that I never worked in casting.  
[magnus]: she loved me, I do believe that, but she never trusted me, not really, not to be there for her. Never trusted anyone. Always put herself first because no one else ever had, ever would.  
[magnus]: so when she caught a producer's eye, she let him catch her  
[magnus]: and truly didn't understand why it broke my heart when I found them in bed together

[alec]: oh hell, I'm so sorry

[magnus]: oh, that wasn't the worst part, not by a long shot  
[magnus]: it was another year of fights and manipulation and making up, of her pushing me towards jobs that would help *her* rather than jobs that suited me, of making me feel like I'd let her down, that I was why she'd cheated  
[magnus]: that's the part that almost broke me, the part that sent me back to Alicante when it finally got to be too much, when I couldn't stand any of the jobs I might be able to get, couldn't stand the person I was while I was living with her, working with her. The way she made me believe that everything that was wrong with our relationship, everything I felt bad about, that every bit of it was my fault and I should be grateful to her for putting up with me. That the only reason I'd had any success at all was because of her, that I *owed* her, and she could take it away again if I didn't pay her back the way she wanted

[alec]: I'm gonna help Ragnor hide the body  
[alec]: no, wait, need his truck to finish moving in first  
[alec]: if the opportunity arises though

[magnus]: I don't think murder's the answer, though I'm touched by the sentiment

[alec]: I love you so much Magnus, you've such a beautiful soul, I can't. How could anyone do that to someone? Much less someone they thought they loved. I'm so sorry. I wish... I don't know, I wish I could take all that pain for you, just wipe it away

[magnus]: well, if we hadn't both gotten run out of New York by heartbreak, we might never have met  
[magnus]: that's a damn fine silver lining

[alec]: wait now, you're telling me the sad story, why are you comforting me? Shouldn't that be the other way around?

[magnus]: have we ever done things normally?

[alec]: I don't have a clue what "normal" might look like, but that silver lining does make a hell of a difference, you're right. Tonight we're moving in together  
[alec]: because we're both choosing this  
[alec]: choosing us

[magnus]: took us awhile, but we're both finally making good decisions?

[alec]: I think so  
[alec]: not sure anyone else would agree, even if Ragnor seems cautiously supportive

[magnus]: they'll come around. We've got time.

[alec]: All the time in the world

* * *

[izzy]: question

[alec]: no

[izzy]: I know you don't mean that  
[izzy]: especially since I want Magnus' number  
[izzy]: I'd like to get to know the guy who swept you off your feet  
[izzy]: and seems to have fallen head over heels right back, just like someone said! Now who could that have been? Someone so very smart and kind, who do we possible know like that...

[alec]: if I give you his number will you stop?

[izzy]: of course not

[alec]: yeah, that's what I thought

[izzy]: ....  
[izzy]: really. REALLY? Here I was trying to be nice, I was going to take your boyfriend out for lunch, maybe do some shopping, we'd have a good time.  
[izzy]: He's clearly got excellent taste.

[alec]: was that a compliment?

[izzy]: He had really nice shoes you know

[alec]: shoes are important, got it  
[alec]: why do people think I don't know that?

[izzy]: because you have like three pairs and they're all black? Sneakers, dress shoes, combat boots.

[alec]: but they're high quality sneakers and dress shoes and combat boots.

[izzy]: they are actually  
[izzy]: ...  
[izzy]: sorry?  
[izzy]: ...  
[izzy]: are you really not going to give me his number?

[alec]: nope

[izzy]: ALEXANDER GIDEON

[alec]: ISABELLE SOPHIA  
[alec]: I don't want you to interrupt his class, I'll leave him a message with your number, all right?

[izzy]: oh. I guess. You're still a brat.

[alec]: I learned from the best

[izzy]: 🙄

[alec]: ❤

* * *

**THURSDAY**

* * *

[magnus]: question!

[alec]: yes?

[magnus]: now that I have experienced the dancing with Alexander which is actually intense eye-contact and steadily decreasing personal space  
[magnus]: (I knew your hips were lethal)  
[magnus]: did you dance WITH John for this dare?  
[magnus]: because. Um. How did Lydia take that?

[alec]: I did, and he turned bright red and Lydia laughed for a week. Do you want me to see if she's still got the video she took on her phone?

[magnus]: hotdamnyesplease  
[magnus]: also have you ever been to Pandemonium? Because we could get away with that in public there  
[magnus]: This weekend even? Not Saturday, I'll probably still be recovering from your sister taking me shoe shopping  
[magnus]: But Friday maybe...   
[magnus]: Pandemonium has unusually roomy bathroom stalls. not that I know from experience. Or not that kind of experience. There is no good way to finish this sentence is there?

[alec]: you know I wouldn't care if you did, right? That kind of experience.

[magnus]: I do know that, yes  
[magnus]: but also I've never really been a fan of sweaty groping in a club bathroom  
[magnus]: but I've also never been quite so constantly desperate as I am for you

[alec]: same here

[magnus]: so with that in mind. it might be a thing we should know  
[magnus]: just in case

[alec]: ok for Pandemonium dancing you would probably have to get me a bit not sober

[magnus]: that wasn't a no

[alec]: no it wasn't, was it?

* * *

[lydia]: Alec requested some of the video from my engagement party, but then gave me your phone number instead of your email  
[lydia]: I think they'd send better via something smarter than my phone's data plan

[magnus]: I think he assumed you'd send them to him? But certainly: ma.ba05@uia.edu

[lydia]: pretty sure you'll enjoy having them more than he will

[magnus]: you may have a point there, thank you  
[magnus]: I think he'd like to have more of John to remember, though

[lydia]: Alec told you about him, did he?

[magnus]: a little. My condolences

[lydia]: It was four years ago

[magnus]: regardless.

[lydia]: hmm. Yes.   
[lydia]: thank you

[magnus]: you're welcome  
[magnus]: and if you have any more John & Alexander stories, I would of course be DELIGHTED to hear them. Or see them. Regardless of media.

[lydia]: that might be nice, I'll think about it

[magnus]: excellent! No hurry, but I do appreciate it.

[lydia]: Are you sure you're not in a hurry? I hear you're braving Lightwood family dinner already.  
[lydia]: good luck with that

[magnus]: I feel like starting our mutual acquaintance at a bar full of six metaphorical siblings was scarier?  
[magnus]: You're making me question my conclusions a little though

[lydia]: Luke used to be a cop and Maryse is... Maryse

[magnus]: That did not clarify anything.  
[magnus]: Alexander couldn't seem to explain why he was nervous about me meeting his mother either  
[magnus]: she was very nice when she confirmed the invitation

[lydia]: she is a lovely woman

[magnus]: but?

[lydia]: I don't know how to explain it either. She's an accountant, used to work for the prosecutor's office I think it was, and I'm pretty sure that if she'd been around she would have scared Capone even before he knew it was his finances that were going to take him down.

[magnus]: well that's terrifying

[lydia]: she's very competent. And she knows it. And she expects the same.

[magnus]: that doesn't sound too bad?

[lydia]: at *everything* from *everyone*  
[lydia]: all the time

[magnus]: huh. I think I'm starting to get it.

[lydia]: she loves her kids though  
[lydia]: so she'll like you, regardless of anything else, because you make Alec happy

[magnus]: I'm glad that you think I do

[lydia]: You do. I'm not blind  
[lydia]: I've not ever seen Alec like that before, and it's nice  
[lydia]: I kind of get the feeling no one's ever seen you like that either?

[magnus]: you are a very observant woman

[lydia]: well. Maryse likes me. I'm competent, too.

[magnus]: and now we're back to scaring me a little, aren't we?

[lydia]: no. Alec's important to a lot of people, but you're important to him, so now you're important to us too. But there is that question of *hurry* that isn't usually Alec's style so there may be some growing pains  
[lydia]: I'll get those videos to you later today. It really was very nice to meet you, I look forward to seeing you again

[magnus]: thank you, you too

* * *

[magnus]: I had a slightly odd conversation with Lydia  
[magnus]: I'm not sure if she was trying to comfort me or scare me

[alec]: she has that effect on people a lot  
[alec]: I think it's only sort-of on purpose  
[alec]: but she wouldn't have even tried the comforting half if she didn't like you, so that's a good sign

[magnus]: and she promised me videos! And perhaps more John & Alexander shenanigan stories in the future

[alec]: there were no shenanigans. We were very boring.

[magnus]: impossible

[alec]: Well. I always felt very boring, but John was great, so I guess we'll see what Lydia has to say on the subject.

[magnus]: why in the world would you think you're boring?

[alec]: I work too hard and don't, as a general rule, like people  
[alec]: People don't usually notice me, if there's anyone else in the room

[magnus]: John did. I do.

[alec]: well, you're both special cases

[magnus]: so are you

[alec]: agree to disagree on that one?

[magnus]: nope. You're wrong. I'll convince you eventually.

[alec]: good luck, I guess?

[magnus]: I don't need luck, not for something so obvious.

[alec]: I don't know whether to roll my eyes or stick my tongue out at you

[magnus]: Well, the tongue could be considered an *invitation* and we both still have work to do

[alec]: 🙄🙄🙄

[magnus]: 😈😇😘

* * *

[raphael]: thank you.

[alec]: Raphael? I mean. You're welcome? Maybe? Are you... is Magnus ok?

[raphael]: Of course. I'd lead with that, if he wasn't.

[alec]: yeah, right. That would make sense. Are we going to make sense sometime soon?

[raphael]: Maybe. If I feel like it.

[alec]: ha, I knew there was a sense of humor in there somewhere.

[raphael]: don't tell anyone

[alec]: never

[raphael]: have you been to Magnus' office yet?

[alec]: not today, but yes. Why?

[raphael]: did you see the display in the hallway?

[alec]: the programs and photos from the work the department's done? Yeah, I spent. An amount of time I am not going to figure out because it'd be embarrassing, probably, finding every single one of them that had Magnus' name or picture in it.  
[alec]: he's got an impressive resume

[raphael]: he put some more up today.   
[raphael]: from shows he'd done with Camille

[alec]: oh

[raphael]: exactly. He's been back for years and it took you what, a week? to manage what we didn't. So.

[alec]: He did it himself. But thank you for telling me.

[raphael]: you're welcome  
[raphael]: I assume I'll see you Sunday?

[alec]: Yeah. Yes, you will.

[raphael]: good

* * *

[alec]: oh my god why are people so stupid  
[alec]: I have re-set the password for this guy every week  
[alec]: all semester  
[alec]: and yet he's the one who looks at me like it's my fault he's locked himself out. Again  
[alec]: why can't he follow directions?  
[alec]: just once?  
[alec]: I am reconsidering my position on sexting as distraction help me

[magnus]: oh no, you wouldn't help me, said you deserved my full attention. Are you saying I don't deserve your full attention?

[alec]: I WOULD NEVER  
[alec]: but the rest of the world pales in comparison to you  
[alec]: the simple fact of your existence makes it harder for me to deal with idiots  
[alec]: I know how much better people can be, because of how much better you are

[magnus]: jjjjjjjjjjj

[magnus]: ... jfc Alexander  
[magnus]: Raphael is doing that face where he's laughing at me in his head. Apparently you broke me for a bit there  
[magnus]: which is fine, I love you  
[magnus]: but I need to return the favor  
[magnus]: I'll meet you at the door for a celebratory bj

[alec]: fcuk  
[alec]: I knew you were magical, apparently my face when I glanced down at my phone did something and he left instead of complaining more  
[alec]: Also. Your door or the student center's door? Because the SC is really well lit  
[alec]: I don't think I care

[magnus]: OUR door!   
[magnus]: I'm going to take my time.   
[magnus]: 2am right? I remember those emails

[alec]: I love you so much  
[alec]: even before I discovered you could scare away idiots  
[alec]: even beyond blowjobs  
[alec]: I'll be there by 1:45 at the latest

* * *

**FRIDAY**

* * *

[cat]: you owe me new scrubs

[alec]: Cat? What. How. Why do all my conversations keep starting like this?  
[alec]: Nevermind. What did I do?

[cat]: I saw your picture in the Chief Surgeon's office and almost choked and did manage to spill my entire mug of coffee on myself

[alec]: that's. I'm sorry. I really am. That sounds awful, I might actually cry without my coffee  
[alec]: but also not actually my fault

[cat]: no, but if you come shopping with me for new ones I can tell you embarrassing Ragnor and Magnus stories

[alec]: are you free tomorrow?

[cat]: Lunch?   
[cat]: And you can maybe also tell me how you managed to get Dr. Penhallow to smile for a camera

[alec]: I can't, actually, my mother's the one who managed that (they were friends in college, if that answers your soon to be second question)  
[alec]: the most I've ever managed is that raised eyebrow thing where she's amused and not glaring but not *quite* smiling?

[cat]: Ah, yeah. I've seen that one.

[alec]: you must be really good at your job then, she doesn't let that one out for people who aren't practically family very often

[cat]: maybe she just thinks I'm funny?

[alec]: You're hilarious if you think I'd fall for that. Respect or you have not earned facial expressions at all. Except maybe the murder-one if you did something stupid

[cat]: gotten that one too, have you?

[alec]: maybe once or twice

[cat]: and you survived! Impressive

[alec]: well, she toned it down a little when I was eight

[cat]: what did you do to earn a murder-look at eight?

[alec]: My sister Izzy and Aline and I chased all the local cats one summer, trying to find the ones with wings like in these kids books I'd been reading them. The cats did not appreciate this behavior. Neither did anyone else, especially when we wandered back all bruised and scratched up. Plus Aline had managed to twist her wrist really badly, and I am the eldest so...

[cat]: murder-look

[alec]: murder-look

[cat]: don't worry, if you and Magnus ever get injured in an adventure I'll know to blame him instead of you

[alec]: thanks?

[cat]: I have a pretty good murder-look too, if I do say so myself, this is a pretty big concession I'm making

[alec]: I'm honored

[cat]: as you should be. Any ideas for lunch?

[alec]: I will literally eat anything. Surprise me?

[cat]: You are a little reckless, aren't you? I like that. All right then. I'll text you the address tomorrow.

[alec]: sounds like a plan

* * *

[magnus]: impertinent question!

[alec]: my favorite kind (from my favorite person)

[magnus]: distracting! I forgot what I was going to ask  
[magnus]: and even so you are still my favorite too  
[magnus]: I perhaps have questionable taste

[alec]: but it works in my favor, so I'm not gonna argue with it

[magnus]: does this mean if I buy you something pretty that you'll wear it? Since you trust my taste and all...

[alec]: depends on the sort of pretty, I suppose. Public or private?

[magnus]: private

[alec]: then yes

[magnus]: you don't even know what I'm thinking of

[alec]: doesn't matter

[magnus]: goddamn  
[magnus]: uh. I gotta. Go.   
[magnus]: order something

[alec]: do I get a hint?  
[alec]: ...  
[alec]: apparently not. ok then.

* * *

[magnus]: I remembered my original question!

[alec]: is it as impertinent as the tangent?

[magnus]: probably not, sorry  
[magnus]: how do you do that thing, you know,   
[magnus]: where you're looking at say, me for example, but can still catch Jace's napkin and not walk into dancers or bump into furniture in an apartment you've never been in before even when I am Very Distracting?

[alec]: oh. That's. Situational awareness. That's actually a serious answer, let me get my food (more coffee) first.

[magnus]: oh, you do not have to serious in between your classes, do ignore me

[alec]: never. And I like it when you know more about me. it's just easier to typewhen I'm sitting down  
[alec]: as witnessed by my inability to use the spacebar

[magnus]: well you do have nice big hands, Alexander

[alec]: and now I'm blushing in line I'm ignoring you until I'm settled

[alec]: all right. Ready for the long story?

[magnus]: always

[alec]: one of the things Mom insisted on when we got to Alicante was me staying in therapy  
[alec]: all of us getting therapy actually, including her, but especially me

[magnus]: I'm glad

[alec]: she was determined to do better. She helped us all do better. I think you'll like her.

[magnus]: I'm sure I will

[alec]: I ended up in a depression therapy group, but it wasn't just. We had all tried... We were all on suicide watch at some point. We were the really sad depression group?

[magnus]: not sad. You were all fighting to get that far, weren't you? The bravest group, I think.

[alec]: Even now, while I agree with that for every other person who was in that room, I have trouble saying it to myself.

[magnus]: I'll keep saying it until it gets a little easier

[alec]: you're going to make me cry in public if you keep being so perfect

[magnus]: well we can't have that, I promise to avoid doing the dishes for at least a week

[alec]: You avoid the dishes already

[magnus]: see! terribly flawed.

[alec]: perfect for me though

[magnus]: you make me breathless when you say things like that, I may faint  
[magnus]: but are you trying to avoid the subject? We can talk about it later. In person, if it's easier. Or not at all, if you don't want to.

[alec]: no, well. Maybe. Let's see how it goes?

[magnus]: all right

[alec]: one of the men in the group was a vet. Former combat arms.  
[alec]: he was hyper-vigilant, if you know what that is? Always tracking everything around him, every shift, every noise, until there was too much coming in, and he couldn't handle it anymore.

[magnus]: It's quite common in foster kids, too. For different reasons. Not that we knew it had a name. Pretty sure we would have gone with 'sensible precaution'

[alec]: I hate that. I hate the why and the how and the how many...

[magnus]: I know. I do too.

[alec]: I love you. And I'm so glad you made it.

[magnus]: same to you

[alec]: unsurprisingly, my problem was paying too much attention to what I was thinking and not enough to what was really around me. I'd assume the worst and make it fit in my head even though it hadn't actually happened.  
[alec]: sometimes it had kind of happened? But usually not the way I made myself feel about it.  
[alec]: the therapist leading the group... paired us off, I guess. Was trying to help us balance it out  
[alec]: it was awful for a couple weeks. We barely talked, he kept startling me because he would walk around fucking silently, and I apparently kept 'blocking his sight lines' and 'looming' in his way

[magnus]: my poor awkward giant

[alec]: ha. You're not wrong though. He's relatively compact and I was even more all arms and legs than I am now

[magnus]: I'm a terrible person, that sounds hilarious

[alec]: you could never be a terrible person. Plus in retrospect I'm sure it was.  
[alec]: I was very uncomfortable at 18, kept trying to make myself smaller and shorter which never worked and tended to make me all elbows and knees and stutters  
[alec]: Hodge was grumpy and stocky and looked about ten years older than he actually was. He was also really tired of everyone telling him he was overreacting every time he jumped.

[magnus]: people are assholes

[alec]: sometimes, yeah  
[alec]: I think it was a kind of self-defense, really, that once we started talking he'd point out the things he kept seeing and hearing that I missed. Most of the time, I'd realize I'd maybe sort of noticed it, and I'd tell him why I hadn't thought it was important. Not just that it hadn't scared me, but why. Which apparently was a new thing. Most people just said *that's not going to hurt you* with a *don't be dumb* implied on the side

[magnus]: which you never did

[alec]: tried not to. The step-by-step deduction was the thing that helped him out.  
[alec]: helped me out too, because I started noticing when I jumped a few steps in order to get to the worst possible conclusion  
[alec]: and then I started noticing things even before he told them to me, and he started figuring out they weren't trying to kill him even before I pointed it out  
[alec]: Once it clicked, I never really managed to turn it off? But it wasn't ever as... hair-trigger as Hodge's had been.   
[alec]: part of why I don't dance when I'm out with the hedge. I tend to focus on who I'm dancing with, and not. Everything else? Same for not drinking. It helps keep me steady, knowing I know what's going on around me, paying attention to what's out there instead of what's in my head. Alcohol blunts that awareness enough I start getting twitchy.

[magnus]: now I feel terrible, I keep trying to entice you to go out drinking and dancing with me

[alec]: but I want to  
[alec]: I don't think you understand just HOW MUCH I enjoy your dancing  
[alec]: and I know you'll keep me safe

[magnus]: now who's perfect? I'm going to start crying and ruin my eyeliner

[alec]: well we can't have that  
[alec]: Would it make you feel better to know that when Hodge met Jace, Jace tried to clap him on the shoulder (despite the fact that I had told him how I knew Hodge, and why we were working together) and Hodge just sort of turned sideways and Jace was flat on his back on the floor blinking at the ceiling?  
[alec]: because the memory of that makes me feel better on an almost weekly basis and it's been something like seven years

[magnus]: ohno that's perfect.

[alec]: Jace being Jace, he was of course delighted, and he popped right back onto his feet and asked Hodge to show him how he did it.  
[alec]: Hodge was very confused.

[magnus]: I would have been too. Your brother sounds like... something else

[alec]: He is one of a kind.

[magnus]: ...

[alec]: I see you typing. No smart comments, you're stuck with him forever now. Package deal.

[magnus]: I know, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't think he agrees though. Your sister's voice did something odd when she mentioned he might join us for lunch.

[alec]: Not yet. He's just cautious. For good reason.

[magnus]: I know

[alec]: I love you

[magnus]: And I you

[alec]: Jace will probably be fine, he likes when people feed him. Izzy might just be annoyed that she'll have a witness to her attempting to interrogate you. She tends towards inquisitive.

[magnus]: I'll have my deflecting answers ready, shall I?

[alec]: I mostly just don't answer, but you do you

[magnus]: I always do

[alec]: I've noticed. It's one of the many things I appreciate about you

[magnus]: you're going to make me blush. I have to change the topic now, or I'll do something excruciatingly sappy.  
[magnus]: Where is Hodge now, if you don't mind me asking? Are you still in touch?

[alec]: He works for a cleaning company. He's never said, but I think it's a nice change for him, fixing things and putting them back together, instead of... you know.  
[alec]: He HAS said that he likes ending the day being able to see exactly what he accomplished via empty trash cans and shiny floors and windows. Plus then he gets to go home and leave work completely behind.

[magnus]: That does sound rather nice, I can see the appeal

[alec]: neither of us picked good careers for that second one, did we?

[magnus]: not so much

[alec]: He and Jace also do the self-defense classes together at the gym where Jace works. Jace always volunteers to be the bad guy. He's so proud when, by the last session, he spends most of the hour flat on the mat.

[magnus]: that's oddly adorable

[alec]: that's Jace

[magnus]: But now that my office hours are about to start, I should probably hide my phone until I'm done  
[magnus]: until later, love

[alec]: until dancing. I can't wait 💖


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter brought to you by that time I accidentally left _Sucker_  on loop on Spotify for like three days. idk why either, that’s all I’ve got tho. (Outsider POV's and drunk-texting!)
> 
> [[tumblr](https://faejilly.tumblr.com/post/184466550208)]

[misfit group mms]

[tessa]: oh, it's nice to be home on a Friday night  
[tessa]: I love the ALA con but my pajamas are so much more comfortable

[dot]: says you and Ragnor, maybe. The rest of you got any plans? I've got itchy feet but I can't decide what I want to do or where to go

[magnus]: you always have itchy feet

[dot]: you're one to talk

[cat]: so you're crowdsourcing for ideas?

[dot]: why not?

[cat]: Sorry, I have to work a double tomorrow, I'm with Tessa. Tea and putting my feet up, that's the life

[magnus]: Alexander and I are going dancing.

[cat]: I can see your giddy smile from here, you've got it bad

[magnus]: Yes, I do

[raphael]: you've had worse taste, I must admit

[magnus]: was that a compliment?

[raphael]: he's not a total idiot. He has a sense of humor, too

[tessa]: what  
[tessa]: did you make a joke? One someone else could recognize rather than one where you laughed at them in your head? And then he GOT IT?  
[tessa]: Magnus, your boy's magical, I can't wait to meet him

[magnus]: not today, sorry darling

[dot]: oh we know. Have fun

[magnus]: so much fun

[raphael]: please don't give us the details

[magnus]: just for that, you're getting pictures tonight  
[magnus]: so many pictures  
[magnus]: every possible outfit combination  
[magnus]: every menu item I consider for dinner  
[magnus]: every step in line on the way to the club

[raphael]: why are you such an asshole

[magnus]: but I'll stop once we get inside  
[magnus]: because I love you

[dot]: or because Pandemonium uses those weird spotlights and strobes so most pics look terrible

[cat]: oh no, it's because Magnus will be too busy admiring Alec

[raphael]: never thought I'd be thankful for Magnus' libido

[magnus]: harsh. I'll have you know he has a beautiful soul

[dot]: you're not going to a club to grind against Alec's *soul*

[cat]: apparently he can multi-task. Enjoy his soul, pretty eyes, and how he moves his hips?

[magnus]: stop objectifying my boyfriend  
[magnus]: or wait 'til he can hear you so I can at least enjoy him blushing

[cat]: ah, young love

[magnus]: you're the same age I am

[cat]: but I'm not in love, thank god, it sounds exhausting

[magnus]: bah humbug?

[ragnor]: exactly  
[ragnor]: But I also have plans, actually. Quieter ones.The observatory's doing a talk on the Lyrids, and then they're having a midnight picnic while we see how well they show up

[dot]: oooh. Can I come?

[ragnor]: if you can get here in half an hour, it's a bit of a drive to the site. Have to get far enough out of town to avoid the worst of the light pollution

[dot]: on it

[magnus]: hmmm, I have to start planning my photo montage  
[magnus]: you're gonna love it, Raphael  
[magnus]: you should get a new SD card  
[magnus]: so you can save them ALL

[cat]: I'm so sorry, Raphael

[magnus]: OH. IT'S ON. YOU'RE GETTING THEM TOO

[cat]: ohnomyphone'sdyingwhatwasthat

[tessa]: have fun, children. And Ragnor.

* * *

[maia]: Alec's here. With Magnus. Dancing. In public. Holy shit Magnus can dance. Alec's not bad, but wow. WOW.

[simon]: why are you telling me this when I can't come &see it for myself? That's just mean

[maia]: so you can tell Becky and she can give you that look that she does when she doesn't believe you? Because that look's hilarious

[simon]: you are a cruel woman

[maia]: you're just jealous Becky likes me better

[simon]: Everyone likes you better. You are objectively the best, I am proud of everyone for liking you better.

[maia]: awww. That was really sweet you big dork

[simon]: 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

[maia]: less sweet, more dork

[simon]: hey, at least I didn't try and make long-stemmed rose emojis for you  
[simon]: that'd be a bit much

[maia]: SPEAKING OF A BIT MUCH  
[maia]: I think there's glitter in Alec's hair. From Magnus' ... Everything?

[simon]: WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS? I hate Pandemonium's lighting, I can't even ask you to get pics, they never come out

[maia]: well Lydia's seen Alec do this before, apparently, the dancing at least if not the glitter, and Clary's right here staring at them with me, and I can't very well tell Izzy or Jace, they're all stuck in *wait are we supposed to worry about him now?* mode and it's clearly very confusing for them that their big brother is his own person and has sex. Possibly a lot of sex? Alec and Magnus are very close together with this dancing thing.  
[maia]: They're really hot, babe

[simon]: I'm your last choice? AND you're telling me other boys are hot? I'm hurt

[maia]: no you're not, you know I love you (and you also know they're hot)

[simon]: I do, don't I? Love you too.

[maia]: were you agreeing with both of those?

[simon]: obviously  
[simon]: I can get away with that 'cause he's not actually my brother and also I know you'll never tell him I said that because you like me enough not to want me to be QUITE that mortified  
[simon]: aw shit, you'd totally tell Becky or Clary tho. Please don't tell Becky & Clary

[maia]: I'll consider it 😏  
[maia]: Clary's probably safe. She seems really weirded out by Alec's date-behavior. Pointing out that we both already knew he was hot might make her head explode.  
[maia]: do you think it's because she thinks of Alec as a brother or just because he's so *Alec* iykwim?

[simon]: probably both. Clary's good at multi-tasking her emotions

[maia]: Was that a compliment or an insult?

[simon]: no idea  
[simon]: and Bubbie's back, gotta go. She did want to know if you're still good for Shabbat next week?

[maia]: course. Tell her I'll bring the wine

[simon]: told you everyone should like you best 😍

[maia]: 😘

* * *

[clary]: alinealinealinehelp in eed tot alkto you

[aline]: it's after 2 in the morning there what are you doing? Are you all right? Is someone dying? Do I need to get a plane ticket?

[clary]: SORRY. Everyone'sfine (alec's borfiiiiirnis so gorgeous and i don't even,i had to tell you because you'retheonlyone who gets it)

[aline]: alec's what? WHAT.  
[aline]: CLARY  
[aline]: CLARY WTF  
[aline]: I AM GOING TO CALL LUKE AND MAKE SURE NO ONE'S DYING

[aline]: clary? If you're asleep and no one's dying I'm going to kill you

[clary]: sorry, sorry. Got some water and a keyboard I candothisnow. Sort of. Sorry

[aline]: how drunk are you

[clary]: not too drunk for these conversation  
[clary]: thank god my phone's well trained

[aline]: thank god I woke up and had coffee already  
[aline]: can you start over now?

[clary]: yeah like. A week or twss ago this guy THIS GUY with the best clothes I've ever seen and eyeliner to rival Izzy's came into the store looking for a book and he said *ALEC* sent him

[aline]: what

[clary]: i KNOW. right. I did not know that was a thing for Alec. Maybe it's just Magnus is a thing for Alec? That would make more sense, I don't think he knew what he looked like at that point but MAGNUS HAD THIS LITTLE SMILE WHEN HE SAID aLEC's name and it was amazing and adorable and istg he's so beautiful i want his vests like all of them do you think if they get married I could borrow his vests?

[aline]: clary. You need to, idk. I cannot follow this story and if you don't figure it out I'm going to call you and if that doesn't help I'm going to call EVERYONE YOU ARE EVEN SORT OF RELATED TO UNTIL SOMEONE EXPLAINS

[clary]: NO you can't that's why I'm talking to you Maia went home to sle  
[clary]: sleep because Maia actually knows how to adult and Jace and Izzy are being like scowly because you know it's *Alec* and they're worried and Lydia is  
[clary]: Lydia more Alec's friend than my friend even though we are also friends and how does she make her hair stay like that do you think? It never falls out of those braids

[aline]: BREATHE

[clary]: ok

[aline]: drink some water

[clary]: ok

[aline]: try again

[clary]: so Alec has a boyfriend who he met via an accidental email message or something like in an actual freaking movie  
[clary]: and for their first date they came to THE HUNTER'S MOON AND SIMON'S GIG LAST WEEK

[aline]: why would anyone start with that

[clary]: and then they left early and Alec's was freshly shaved when he got to the bookstore the next *afternoon* like he had only just managed to get home and clean up before he had to show up and also he keeps smiling and I have a suspiciousness he hasn't slept back at his own place all week

[aline]: how did starting with meeting our family work, that's impossible

[clary]: I have no damn clue but we tried to tease him at dinner last week and now Maryse invited Magnus (that's the boyfriend in case I forgot that part?) to family dinner this week and apparently he said YES  
[clary]: IT'S BEEN A WEEK and ALEC IS BRINGING HIS OBYFRIENDTOD INNER S unday wait it's like almost three that's TOMORROW

[aline]: Alec's never invited anyone to a family anything ever. I've never even managed to figure out if he's ever gone on a date because wherever he goes it's not where any of us are. EVER.

[clary]: OH HE DATES NOW  
[clary]: I SAW THEM AT PANDEMONIUM TONIGHT AND I  
[clary]: they were *dancing* and I was maybe 4 people away and Alec didn't even notice  
[clary]: and Alec's my *brother* and they're boys but even I could tell they were really hot. as in people were staring hot and Alec didn't care

[aline]: holy shit

[clary]: like. I really don't want to know this about them but they may have had sex in the bathroom because let me tell you Alec was all blushing and dark eyed and hi's HAIR and you know that loose-happy-post-orgasm thing was going on with the dancing

[aline]: I don't want to know this about them or you that you would recognize that, you're twelve

[clary]: I am TWENV. I'm TWEMT fucking 21

[aline]: maybe he'd just had a drink and was enjoying a night out  
[aline]: ...

[clary]: yeah. Cuz that's not LESS WEIRD? Alec drinking and going out in public and not noticing someone he knows near-by? (MAIA. ME. we're not subtle) ALEC NOT NOTICING FAMILY? I HAVE NEVER. You have never. NEVER.

[aline]: this is the most disturbing conversation to be having. Especially with you

[clary]: WHY ESPECIALLY ME? You've known Izzy since she ewas actually a bb izzy and me since i was a teenager why'mI worse?  
[clary]: and i am not a virgin wtf aline you took me to the 18nighht at Galore togetherallthetime before you met Helen. And after you met Helen but before either of you had the balls to ask her out. Or the other her. Or you. I think I lost track of the nouns in that sentence

[aline]: drink more water

[clary]: k

[aline]: and then get some sleep

[clary]: BUT aLEC AND mAGNUS

[aline]: are adults and apparently very happy about that fact, they'll be fine

[clary]: but Izzy and Jace are being WEIRD ABOUT IT i need help

[aline]: why? How? What do you think I'm going to do from a different continent? And are you even going to remember this conversation after you get some sleep?

[clary]: that's why typing i can read it if i forgot

[aline]: uh. I think that's going to go a little differently than you expect

[clary]: oh, Simon's saved everysingle durmngdi drunk text I've ever sent him, this is way more like real words than usual

[aline]: that's terrifying I can't know that you're twelve

[clary]: stop saying that!

[aline]: you're drunk texting me about your brother's boyfriend  
[aline]: who you actually called both gorgeous and hot like he's a celebrity on a poster  
[aline]: stop acting like you're twelve

[clary]: oh  
[clary]: point  
[clary]: but

[aline]: and honestly considering Alec I think you're the one being weird  
[aline]: it's perfectly normal to be worried about someone doing something out of character

[clary]: ugh not you too  
[clary]: but the SMILES  
[clary]: the way they just. Everything.  
[clary]: I think they're soulmates

[aline]: there's no such thing

[clary]: I didn't think so either. but now?   
[clary]: aw shit the tired hit I gotta go sleep  
[clary]: love you

[aline]: but  
[aline]: god damn it  
[aline]: I’m calling you back in six hours to wake you up and make you suffer

* * *

[aline]: I just had the weirdest conversation with Clary

[helen]: it's 3 in the morning there

[aline]: drunk!Clary. Not even why it was weird though. I think.

[helen]: what she's twelve she can't be drunk texting people on the other side of the planet, that's just wrong

[aline]: that's what I said!

[helen]: great minds

[aline]: hot bods

[helen]: 🥂

[aline]: 💕

[helen]: so what did drunk Clary have to say that was even weirder than the fact that drunk Clary was texting you from the other side of the planet?

[aline]: Alec brought a date to Simon's gig last week and they're going to family dinner Sunday AND they were apparently at Pandemonium last night. Alec didn't notice Clary. While he was dancing. In public. With some guy *Clary* called hot and gorgeous and beautiful.

[helen]: wtf Clary's possibly even more gay than you are. She and Alec are both solid sixes.

[aline]: I KNOW, RIGHT?

[helen]: I don't know what to do with this information

[aline]: exactly  
[aline]: and Clary was in all seriousness (I think) calling them soulmates and then she decided she was tired and stopped talking to me

[aline]: and it's 3am there everyone else is probably asleep   
[aline]: I'm just staring at my phone. I feel like I should do something with all this? But there's nothing?

[helen]: so you had to share the WTF with me?

[aline]: obviously

[helen]: well  
[helen]: thanks?  
[helen]: but I'm at my stop so you're gonna have to figure out the WTF on your own for awhile

[aline]: but I don't wanna

[helen]: too bad

[aline]: ha. Just for that, I'm going back to bed. Blankets and pillows and that one line of sunlight that makes it through between the curtains...

[helen]: I hate you

[aline]: love you too, babe. 👋🏼 


End file.
